The Art of Making Peanut Butter Sandwiches

     This is an essay adapted from my end-of-semester PowerPoint presentation for my computer class my freshman year at Northeastern State. (I guess it was memorable; I got a 100 for it.)  

      "We all love it, pretty much. Most people were raised on the stuff. We can make cookies and candy, all sorts of tasty things with it. What food am I talking about? Peanut butter! Of course, the most common way to eat the food popularized by George Washington Carver is through peanut butter sandwiches.
      "There are a lot of good points for the versatile sandwich; most importantly for college students, it's cheap. Any way you can save money should be followed. Another plus for students on the go is that it's so quick to make, you can just whip up a sandwich in no time flat and scarf it down while running to the next class. It's also easily customizable, lending itself to a myriad of inventive options.
      "Of course, there's also some downsides. By itself, plain peanut butter is rather bland and sticky. While healthier than most cafeteria food, it's still not particularly packed with nutrients, it requires some sort of silverware to scoop/slather onto some other edible surface, and some people are allergic to peanuts.
      "The "How-To" of making a basic peanut butter sandwich is very simple, almost too easy to list. Taking a utensil of some kind(generally knife or spoon), peanut butter is scooped out of the container, then spread onto a slice of bread, while another substance such as jelly is slathered onto a different bread slice. The contents will merge somewhat as the bread is pressed together, and then the sandwich is eaten."
      "There are varying ways of doing this, however. One way would be making homemade peanut butter, which is often done for health reasons in avoiding preservatives in the typical store-bought variety. Adventure-seekers, spotting a new way to experiment with tastes, also do this. The process used is very simple, dropping peanuts into a blender until a thick, grainy paste appears. This must be eaten quickly or refrigerated, however, as it will separate and be very nasty otherwise.
      "Those adventurous folks may continue their trip off the main highway of conformity by diving into a wide array of topping options.  This could include chocolate(My favorite, chocolate chips and chopped-up Snickers are recommended), or the typical jelly, with a large flavor-spectrum to choose from, ranging from grape to dandelion. Carrots or some other vegetable could be inserted in an effort to make it healthier, as could fruits like apples or bananas. If the sweetness is a problem, but chocolate doesn't quite do the trick, then honey or sugar might work well. An often overlooked topping that goes well is bacon.
      "And don't think that a typical store-bought loaf of white bread is your only option for what to build the sandwich on, either. A tortilla could be utilized very effectively, a pita could work in a pinch. Cookies make wonderful snack-sandwiches,  Oreos do a great job in this area. Bagels can add an interesting hearty foundation, making a filling meal. Hot dog/hamburger buns are not recommended, as their fluffy texture overwhelms everything and adds to the blandness of straight peanut butter.
      "The average American child eats something close to 1,500 peanut butter sandwiches by the time they head to college, with many more eaten then and later. Maybe next time you find yourself making a sandwich the typical way, consider trying something new. A new favorite might be right around the corner."

Modern Society's Front Porch

      This was my final essay for Comp II my freshman year at Northeastern State.

     "It can be a blessing, or it could be the work of the devil. It can wreck a marriage or reunite families. It can be every bit as addicting a drug as alcohol, or it can be a form of therapy. It can help keep friendships alive, or it could get you fired. For every one and many more of these contradictory elements, social media can be either a good or bad thing. It is a tool, and as novelist Jack Schaefer wrote in Shane, a tool, whatever it is, is only as good or as bad as the man who uses it.  For the most part, social media, as a whole, is a good tool for communication.

     As humans, we are made to connect with others, to interact. We build up nations over time, subdivided by such things as state, tribe, city, neighborhood or family. The basic unit, however, is this concept we call "communities", which is a hard idea to precisely define. Webster's Collegiate Dictionary defines it this way: "All persons living in a specific location; or a group having interests or religion in common; or joint sharing." Stephanie M. Reich suggests that a "community" involves interdependence, communication and emotional connection, and is operated in a systematic way. It also involves dealing with people. (Reich) Over time, as new technologies are developed and distributed among the masses, the sense of community shifts as well, further complicating the issue. While talking of Time magazine in his book The Mechanical Bride, scholar Marshall McLuhan suggests that the press has fostered the image of the world as one single city as a byproduct of their work, in the process creating a new area for communities to develop.  With these new technologies, what once was relatively easy to define gradually spread out from a group in the same geographic area to groups with shared interests still with physical interactions, and then migrating into the digital world they became all shared interests with next to no face-to-face meetings. (Reich)

     As the Internet grew, sites like MySpace, Facebook, YouTube, Google+ and Twitter emerged, as well as other sites such as the children-oriented Webkinz, the dating sites eHarmony and Match.com, Internet radio on Pandora and Spotify, professional networking at LinkedIn and image-driven sites such as Pinterest and Tumblr. These can all fall under the general term "social media", which Thomas A. Bryer defines as "technologies that facilitate social interaction, make possible collaboration, and enable deliberation across stakeholders". Through social media, content and information can travel extremely fast, city agencies can get feedback on proposed policies as well as draw participation for events such as meetings or ceremonies. (Bryer) Elected officials can become better acquainted with their constituents' opinions and needs. Newspapers, radio and TV stations can find out what their audiences would like to see, as well as get news tips unavailable in any other format. For events of national scale, such as the shootings in Aurora or Sandy Hook, the Joplin tornado, Hurricane Sandy or the Boston bombings, information was first spread through social media sites, and then up-to-date proceedings were delivered via Twitter as the stories unfolded.

      Another aspect of the beneficial uses of digital resources is education, which has and can be improved through the use of social media, as Patrick Larkin notes. Larkin states that one of the basic tenets of public education has been to prepare students for life outside the classroom, and to create tomorrow's responsible citizens. He further argues that to create proper citizenship in our modern world, schools must embrace digital resources, which include social media. A former principal, Larkin outlines the way his school has benefitted from its new status as social-media-literate, with school news posted on a blog, Twitter account and Facebook page, giving the local newspaper instant access to potential stories, as well as giving parents lightning-fast updates on school happenings. These tools can also create easier pathways to learning, such as online classes: "Teacher and students now collaborate with other eager learners from anywhere - at any time - accessing and learning with experts in subjects they are passionate about. Social media is also learning media." (Larkin)

     Through LinkedIn, and to a lesser extent, Facebook, etc., jobseekers can land careers in their fields, as well as develop useful contacts to make their jobs run more smoothly. Advice and insights can be shared on how to craft a better-looking resume, nailing that important interview, or new techniques that could improve productivity. Portfolios of previous work history can be developed as companies increasingly research potential employees online, and references can give feedback with just a few mouse clicks.

      Journalist Wayne Greene offered an interesting angle into this subject when he commented on air-conditioning leading to the demise of knowing your neighbors. His editorial argued that as families migrated indoors into the newly air-conditioned houses to watch the new device of television, they stopped interacting with their local communities. People no longer sat on the porch with neighbors while their kids played in the street; instead they all sat huddled in their respective living rooms watching Bonanza or Happy Days. Through this new frontier of social media, in particular Facebook, Greene theorizes that "we have a chance to recreate the communities we lost sixty years ago." Used to, in our grandparents' time, you would have conversations with your neighbor over the fence on all manner of subjects, from national politics to the high school football season to where to find a good sale on tomatoes.  These are the things we discuss on Facebook, in a sense. Of course, they aren't exactly parallel; at times you are just yelling your opinion out into the netherworld of nothingness, and it can occasionally take a long while before someone replies to your post. It doesn't completely replace the front porch, but it serves as a close substitute for our era. "If we build communities online, all those things we lost when we started coming in every night might be regained." (Greene)

     Through Facebook, as we build our online communities, the handcuffs of proximity are loosed, as we can get to know almost anyone we wish,  no matter how far the distance might be between us. Personally, I use mine in order to keep track of news and to stay in touch with friends and family, scattered throughout fourteen different states and four countries. Many of my closest friends live in Missouri and surrounding states, and one of my sisters lives in Canada. Through Facebook, I've been able to stay in the loop of what's happening in their lives, in addition to being plugged into the large-scale support network of encouragement and sympathy, laughter and advice of friendship as we try to help each other though this life we live.

     For all these reasons listed and many others, the upside to online networking and benefits from utilizing social media far outweigh their deficiencies. It's an unshakable pillar of society that grew overnight, and though it will evolve as further new technologies emerge, our basic need for community is still intact. With so many helpful opportunities that communication through social media offers, we have the tools for changing our world for the better. Our communities exist now because of social media, and that's a good thing."

Fairy Tales - The Key to the World's Secrets

      I'm pretty sure most college students do NOT write argumentative essays on fairy tales.
     And I don't think Works Cited pages typically include works of Dr. Seuss or The Princess Bride. 
     But anyway, I wrote this for my Comp II class my freshman year at Northeastern State, and it turned out to be the highest-scoring essay in class for that paper. And I had a lot of fun researching it.

     "We don't understand this world we live in. We try to figure out what makes it work, why things in nature happen the way they do. We try to explain our own actions and reasonings. And we know more than we did in the Dark Ages. For as Dr. Seuss wrote, "The more that you read, the more you will know. The more that you learn, the more places you'll go." (I Can Read With My Eyes Shut!) But we still don't completely understand everything, and we probably never will. As we grow older, we lose track of the keys to get glimpses of this unfornseen knowledge. These keys are found in fairy tales, and we need, we must, hang on to them as grownups, in order to have a proper understanding of how the world works and our roles in it.

     Where do we start, then, to find these keys and whatever adventures stem from them? It would be a good idea to have a basic philosophy of life to keep in mind while on the journey. According to Martin Cothran in his article "The Rhetoric of Amazement", this world is enchanted. He states that writers of imaginative literature, like Dr. Seuss, take things apart and creatively reassemble them, allowing us to gain a clearer picture of the world. Cothran elaborates in a different article entitled "Is Fiction False?", pointing out that novels, short stories, etc. do not teach us truths by directly going from our questions to some abstraction. Instead, we learn the truths of concrete realities by experiencing what its' strengths and weaknesses are, how the truth plays out in practical reality.

      In his book Orthodoxy, 20th-century English jack-of-all-trades journalist/mystery author/aopologist/philosopher G. K. Chesterton wrote an essay entitled "The Ethics of Elfland". He opens by describing that the classical idea of democracy is really the same thing as tradition, as tradition is merely the democracy of the dead. In fact, he spends two pages outlining that point. Since, therefore, they really are the same thing, we ought not to discredit tradition merely because it is tradition. Chesterton says that "Fairy tales are the entirely reasonable things. They are not fantasies, for compared with them other things are fantastic. For Fairyland is nothing but the sunny country of common sense." There some developments which are purely logical and reasonable, for example, the fact that if the Ugly Stepsisters are older than Cinderella, then Cinderella is younger than the Ugly Stepsisters. However, the true test of Fairyland is of the imagination, which separates the rational from the irrational. We simply cannot fathom two plus three not equalling five, so that is a rational fact. But we can picture the grass one day growing blue, or a dog driving a motorcycle. These are irrational ideas. And Chesterton argues that most of the world we live iin is, by this test, and extremely irrational place.

     For such an obscure character of history, G. K. Chesterton had a very large impact on the twentieth century, influencing those such as apologist C. S. Lewis, authors Dorothy Sayers and J. K. Rowling, and filmmakers Orson Welles and Alfred Hitchcock. Ralph C. Wood reviewed Chesterton's essay collection in his article "Orthodoxy at a Hundred", Wood said that while Chesterton was often cantakerous, and quite a character, he sought to amend the wrongs of his times "by means of a fiesty and witty, punning and alliterative kind of journalism." In the course of doing so, "Chesterton treats the most serious things in the lightest manner, probing depths when he appears to be skating on surfaces." (Wood)

     For all the apparently pointlessness of activities such as ice skating, there are some real uses and benefits, too. We may forget the particulars of a tale we hear as children, but that doesn't mean that we've forgotten about the story. Nancy Willard explains this in a piece for Horn Book Magazine. She says that while the story one forgets about disappears forever, the story one forgets only leaves for a short time. It will come back when needed; the stories don't do long goodbyes very well. They are a shelter to keep us safe, as well as a station, sending us out in the world. (Willard)

      As they send us out into the world, like any good guardian, they leave us pieces of advice to guide us in our travels. For all the wonderful satire of William Goldman's cult classic The Princess Bride, he makes very clear to drive one point home: Life isn't fair. Beauty and the Beast shows us that a thing must be loved before it is lovable in itself, that change can occur by showing kindness to those who are undeserving of it. The Three Little Pigs teaches us that in addition to work ethic, we also need the proper knowledge and materials to succeed. Spider-Man and The Sword of Damocles both prove poignantly that when given great power, we must be careful to exercise it in a manner fitting such a great responsibility. Charlotte's Web shocks us by depicting how far the bonds of friendship can stretch us.

      Fairy tales have many depths and layers, almost like an onion, Willard notes. As we grow, our depth and understanding increases, and much like Narnia's Aslan, the stories grow bigger the older we become. Chesterton outlined that when we are very young children, we merely need tales, not necessarily fairy tales. Life itself is so interesting, we simply cannot conceive that we might ever need more depths than what we see. "A child of seven is excited by being told that Tommy opened a door and saw a dragon. But a child of three is excited that Tommy opened a door." (Chesterton)

        Stories and fairy tales teach us about life. They show us how the world works, set an example of how we should act. This sometimes means showing the other side of that coin, the consequences of what happens when we fail or disobey. This is why Jesus taught in parables, and the Greeks created their wonderful mythology, because we are wired to retain the things we hear through story, and then think about the tales we hear, and in doing so learn from them. Great ideas can be passed on, traits of virtue live immortally in legends. We get our morals and values from the stories we absorb and drink in, which makes the art of storytelling the most effective teaching tool there is.

     This subject could easily take up whole volumes, as well as branching into other fields such as psychology or theology. There is too much information to be bottled up and left alone. However, I will sum up: This world is a mysterious place. We are all on a long journey, and the keys to fulfill the quests we must face are found in the stories we learn as children. Like Chesterton, these too are my attitudes towards life, which I also felt before I could think, and which I too thought before I could write."

Jonah

    Well, when I was little, before Courtney was born, in the rare times when I wasn't reenacting the latesr ballgame in the backyard, or inventing wonderful comebacks and fierce rivalries with the counting cats, or learning basic math while playing board games, I would gather up my stuffed animals, set them all in a row, and preach a sermon to the cottony congregation. They didn't complain much about the depth of teaching(or lack of), since I didn't know anyone cared about things like that until about five years later. And they didn't mind that it was always the same sermon over and over, about Jonah. (With maybe some David and Goliath occasionally in there, too.) 

       So, now fifteen years later, I'm sitting in my polar dorm room, with my homework mostly done for the most part, and wishing I knew people aroud here to do stuff with, where I didn't constantly have to keep my guard up, or pretend whatever was happening was interesting, or where I wouldn't feel like a burden to people. Just something...fun. 

       So, I guess I'll find Bruno and Fetch the Beanie Babies, Dusty the Webkinz, Traveler the random dog Amanda sent me, and Abby Lee the guitar, tell them to wake up, sing a hymn or two(quietly, very quietly. Sigh. They should be sung loudly and joyfully.) and then grab my Bible off the shelf and flip it open somewhere and study it. May as well be Jonah as any other place, right? 

     (Continued several days later, in much the same mood...) 

     "The word of the Lord came to Jonah the son of Amittai: "Go to the great city of Nineveh and preach against it, because its wickedness has come before me." 
     But Jonah ran away from the Lord an headed to Tarshish. he went down to Joppa, where he found a ship bound for that port. After paying the fare, he went aboard and sailed for Tarshish to flee from the Lord." 
   I'm interrupting here, in kind a William Goldman-ish way, to comment on these verses. If God has decided to destroy Nineveh because he's sick of dealing with them, they must have been aseriously wicked people. I don't really know anything much about ancient Middle-Eastern geography(or geography of anywhere at any time), but Tarshish is a long ways from Nineveh in the opposite direction. Maybe it's like having to be in Georgia and driving towards Oregon instead. 
   Anyway, the point is, Jonah is disobeying. And...did he really think he could hide from God? 
     "Then the Lord sent a great wind on the sea, and such a violent storm arose that the ship threatened to break up. All the sailors were afraid and each one cried out to his own god. And they threw all the cargo into the sea to lighten the ship. 
     But Jonah had gone below deck, where he lay down and fell into a deep sleep. The captain went to him and said, "How can you sleep? Get up and call on your god! Maybe he will take notice of us, and we will not perish." 
   Whatever polythestic religion(s) the sailors had, they got this part right. This was bad. They were panicking, and knew somehow, way hidden deep in some mysterious way, they knew that God was the ruler of all. 
     "Then the sailors said to each other, "Come, let us cast lots to find out who is responsible for this calamity." They cast lots and the lot fell on Jonah. 
     So they asked him, "Tell us, who is responsible for making all this trouble for us? What do you do? Where do you come from?  What is your country? From what people are you?" 
     He answered, "I am a Hebrew and I worship the Lord, the God of heaven, who made the sea and the land." 
     This terrified them and they asked, "What have you done?" (They knew he was running away from the Lord, because he had already told them so.) 
   Isn't this just unbelievable, Jonah's act of trying to run away in the first place? There must have been plenty of conversations between the sailors trying to figure out who this guy was, and why he was there. And again, proof that they knew about God's supremacy, by their incredulous question. 
     "The sea was getting rougher and rougher. So they asked him, "What can we do to you to get the sea calm down for us?" 
     "Pick me up and throw me into the sea," he replied, "and it will become calm. I know that it is my fault that this great storm has come upon us." 
   Was he trying to commit suicide, seeing as the running-away plan wasn't working? And that is a strange answer...
     "Instead, the men did their best to row back to land. But they could not; the sea grew even wilder than before. Then they cried out to the Lord, "O Lord, please do not let us die for taking this man's life. Do not hold us accountable for killing an innocent man, for you, O Lord, have done as you pleased." 
   These sailors are looking like the best people in the story so far...they didn't want to murder someone, so they tried to get him away as fast as possible. But then when they see they don't really have that option, their prayer is heartfelt and genuine, obeying by doing something they didn't understand. Their hearts were being re-formed, changed drastically in a way that wasn't tame, but it was good. 
     "Then they took Jonah and threw him overboard, and the raging seas grew calm. At this the men greatly feared the Lord, and they offered a sarifice to the Lord and made vows to him. But the Lord provided a great fish to swallow Jonah, and Jonah was inside the fish three days and three nights. 
   Still more proof that they were changed. And another example of God's providence, his directing of things that fit together well looking back, but that don't make sense at the moment. 
   But, anyway, that ends chapter one. 

     "From inside the fish Jonah prayed to the Lord his God. 
     He said, "In my distress I called to the Lord, and he answered me. From the depths of the grave I called for help, and you listened to my cry. You hurled me into the deep, into the very heart of the seas, and the currents swirled about me; all your waves and breakers swept over me. I said, "I have been banished from your sight; yet I will look again toward your holy temple." The engulfing waters threatened me, the deep surrounded me; seasweed was wrapped around my head. To the roots of the mountains I sank down; the earth beneath barred me in forever. But you brought my life up from the pit, O Lord my God. 
     "When my life was ebbing away, I remembered you, Lord, and my prayer rose to you, to your holy temple. 
"Those who cling to worthless idols forfiet the grace that could be theirs. But I, with a song of thanksgiving, will sacrifice to you. What I have vowed I will make good. Salvation comes from the Lord." 
     And the Lord commanded the fish, and it vomited Jonah onto dry land. 
   Now, what he's saying is right...but...something just doesn't quite add up. See what's missing there? "I'm sorry for disobeying, please forgive me, Lord." That's kind of an important omission - if he would have said that, it would have been written down. But - it isn't.
He's depressed, and I think anyone would be, stuck inside a fish. But somehow this prayer is all about me, me, me...
Now to chapter three. 

     (Concluded a few days after that, while attempting to rest over the weekend and ignore this sickness that's trying to capture me...)

     "Then the word of the Lord came to Jonah a second time: "Go to the great city of Nineveh and proclaim to it the message I give you." 
     Jonah obeyed the word of the Lord and went to Nineveh. Now, Nineveh was a very large city; it took three days to go all through it. 
   I heard once that would be an estimated population of 120,000, which was ENROMOUS in that day. Something like New York City or LA nowadays. 
     "Jonah started into the city, going a day's journey, and he proclaimed: "Forty more days and Nineveh will be destroyed." The Ninevites believed God. They declared a fast, and all of them, from the greatest to the least, put on sackcloth. 
   Jonah probably loved that message, getting to talk about the destruction of his enemies' greatest city. But the important thing is that the Ninevites believed what he was saying and repented. Fasting and sackcloth don't really have modern equivalents, but they were signs of very serious prayer and repentance. 
     "When the news reached the king of Nineveh, he rose from his throne, took off his royal robes, covered himself with sackcloth and sat down in the dust. Then he issued a proclaimation in Nineveh: "By the decree of the king and his nobles: Do not let any man or beast, herd or flock, taste anything, do not let them eat or drink. But let man and beast be covered with sackcloth. Let everyone call urgently on God. Let them give up their evil ways and their violence. Who knows? God may yet relent and with compassion turn from his fierce anger so that we will not perish." 
     "When God saw what they did and how they turned from their evil ways, he had compassion and did not bring upon them the desctruction he had threatened." 
   Wow. This is just amazing, so mind-boggling to consider: That a righteous holy God could forgive our sinful evil actions - Over and over and over... 
   This is also where most of the storybook versions we learn in Sunday School when five years old end. But it isn't actually the end of the story...
   We still have one final chapter in this very strange little book.

     "But Jonah was greatly displeased and became angry. He prayed to the Lord, "O Lord, is this not what I said when I was still at home? That is why I was so quick to flee to Tarshish. I knew that you were a gracious and compassionate God, slow to anger and abounding in love; a God who relents from sending calamity. Now, O Lord, take away my life, for it is better for me to die than to live." "But the Lord replied, "Have you any right to be angry?" 
   Uh... Really? So he runs away; reluctantly obeys and gleefully condemns the city, and then complains because God is merciful. And there's that suicidal tendency again. It's just so unbelievably petty. And then God's response, much like his answer to Job: "Do you have any real reason to be angry with Me?" 
     "Jonah went out and set down in a place wast of the city. There he made himself a shelter, sat in its' shade and waited to see what would happen to the city. Then the Lord God provided a vine and made it grow up over Jonah to give shade for his head to ease his discomfort, and Jonah was very happy about the vine. But at dawn the next day God provided a worm, which chewed the vine so that it withered. When the sun rose, God provided a scorching east wind, and the sun blazed on Jonah's head so that he grew faint. He wanted to die, and said, "It would be better for me to die than to live." 
   How did he build a shelter? Out of what? And he's just going to sit there and watch for...nothing? Then God provides in his mercy a plant to grow to give shade, which Jonah does not in any way deserve. How did it grow over six feet in one day, anyway? Those aren't important, but curious questions that come up while reading... 
   God's mercy is also tempered with justice, so he killed the plant and raised up a might wind. And STILL Jonah doesn't get it.
     "But God said to Jonah, "Do you have a right to be angry about the vine?" 
     "I do," he said. "I am angry enough to die." 
     But the Lord said, "You have been concerned about this vine, though you did not tend it or make it grow. It sprang up overnight and died overnight. But Nineveh has more than a hundred and twenty thousand people who cannot tell their left hand from their right, and many cattle as well. Should I not be concerned about that great city?" 
   And that's it. The end. A reminder that God is God, and we are not. We usually don't understand his purposes, but he has a reason for them.

Isolated

     This song kind of is a summary of how most of my time at Northeastern State felt.

Verse One -
Don't want to run, so I guess I'll walk
Don't want to see anyone, but I have to talk
What's going on? Somebody please tell me
Don't understand, it's all still a mystery
I'm so, so tired of looking inside
Seeing only darkness, always having to hide
Trying to pray, but finding I can't
Isolated, things are looking bad...

Verse Two -
Roaming the streets, out in the cold
Or in my cage, silence seems to enfold
Few more miles, maybe things will cease
One more step is too much for my faltering feet
I'm so, so tired of looking inside
Seeing only darkness, always having to hide
I want to pray, but finding I can't
I'm isolated, things are looking bad....

Verse Three -
So totally drained, no energy
Feeling a lack of community
Too many people around, need to leave and soon
Bashed over the head like a Bugs Bunny cartoon
I'm so, so tired of looking inside
Seeing only darkness, always having to hide
I'm trying to pray, but finding I can't
I'm isolated, things are looking bad...

Bridge -
This song, I know, is looking pretty despairing
Worst thing of life here is no one caring
I lie and say "I'm fine", guys, whenever I see you
But in reality this is what it really comes down to....

Tag -
So, so tired of looking inside
Seeing darkness, always having to hide
Trying to pray but finding I can't,
I'm isolated, things are looking really bad.

Definitions of Olympic Events

    I know, the London Games of 2012 ended about five months ago, and the Sochi Winter Games of 2014 won't be held until, well, over a year from now, and then we gotta wait until 2016(!!!) for the Rio Games....but, you just gotta love the Olympics, right? All those wacky sports, and the things-that-look-like-they-would-be-incredible-to-do-if-you-knew-you-wouldn't-get-hurt-attempting-them...and besides, in four years, we'll be wondering, "Now, what events are in the Olympics again...?" 
     So, here's a refresher course on each event. Enjoy! 

Archery - The act of launching a sharp stick like a missile at a target, easy to see progress if you practice semi-regularly. The way people have gotten food for thousands of years, and the reason so many men pretended to be Robin Hood or William Tell when they were little boys. Can be dangerous for nearby animals. Received a large spike in popularity from a series of superpopular, ultrairritating and poorly-written books, as well as a movie. 

Badminton - That game that's sort of like tennis but wimpier, which no one really knows how to play, but it's always set up at picnics, and the little kids chase each other all around with the rackets while wondering why the ball-thing is called a "birdie", and what kind of bird it was made from. 

Basketball - The best game in the world that was invented out of desperation by a preacher teaching a phys ed class using two old peach baskets. This led to the Harlem Globetrotters, "Hoosiers", Michael Jordan, ESPN becoming a dominant force in television, and the state of Oklahoma actually banding together for a common cause for six months of the year. 

Beach Volleyball - All the cool factors of volleyball, but played barefoot in sand, which could, if one was scientifically-minded, lead to interesting experiments on how sand particles trap heat. Can lead to friendships being made or frantic prayer. Occasionally played in swimsuits. 

Boxing - Where two guys beat each other up only by punching the other guy above the waist, and nobody else really cares or has any idea how the winner is decided. 

Canoeing/Kayaking - Paddling a small boat as fast as possible without falling in the water. Sometimes used in sappy love scenes in romantic movies. 

Cycling - Riding a bike really fast without falling over. Very hard and not much fun to do. 

Diving - Something done only by insane people, leaping off a very high object head-first into very deep water. Boring to watch, the FCC should outlaw the televising of men's competitions. 

Equestrian, aka "Riding Horses" - The only Olympic event involving animals, so that's kinda neat. But the dressing up in funny outfits and prancing around looks silly. Not practical at all, but the leaping-over-objects part looks fun. 

Fencing, aka "Swordfighting" - They announce the combatants, who then stare at each other and say the immortal words: "Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father, prepare to die." Except they can't actually hack each other to pieces, which would be bloody and gruesome and not make very good ratings at all...and they wear beekeeper suits. It would be much more interesting if they were allowed to wear costumes, or there was a mandatory exchange of witty dialogue, or if they could use lightsabers. 

Field Hockey - Uh....hockey without ice? Sounds easy enough. But, wait...how do you play hockey?

Gymnastics - The always-entertaining showcase of skills that would hardly ever be practical in everyday life. Except for the balance beam. But really, how often are we required to know how to dance and do cartwheels, or hang perfectly still suspended in midair, or leap over random objects? 

Handball - Another sport no one in the US or Canada knows what is. Although from what little I've heard of it, it sounds like Calvinball. 

Judo - Kind of like boxing. Except instead of punching each other, you kick the other guy. And it sounds so much more impressive and scary if somebody says, "Oh, yeah, I know judo." 

Modern Pentathalon - Five events of something or other. Not too large a following. 

Rhythmic Gymnastics - Ballet dancing with sticks, little balls and streamers. Makes no sense at all. 

Rowing - A great upper-body workout, used to move across water. Only used in ordinary life on floats along the river, which if taken in middle of summer are basically waterlogged hiking trips. 

Sailing - Using outdated slow methods of sustainable green energy to see who can be the first to a certain point. Sort of like racing snails or turtles. Only rich people near the ocean can do this in normal times, thus 98.7% of the country has no interest whatsoever. 

Shooting - Using a gun to hit a target. Much harder than archery, much more expensive, and more dangerous. 

Soccer - The world's most popular sport, most people have played this as kids. Awesome to play, not as great to watch. Often used in sports movies. 

Swimming - Seeing who can stay above the water and get out of it the fastest, only should be done in times of dire emergency. 

Synchronized Swimming - Cloned dancing inside a swimming pool? Why? 

Table Tennis, aka "Ping Pong" - One of the events played often by normal humans, although at a lot slower, less cool fashion. Good for catching up on news or solving problems, and when passionate enough about it, a fantastic cardio workout. 

Tae-kwon-do - Some type of martial arts, can kill people. Interesting if demonstrated in talent shows.

Tennis - An awesome game that looks much easier than it actually is. Teaches you subtlety, that gentleness is more effective than forcing your way through to get things done. You can get a good tan playing it, terrific stress reliever. 

Track(aka "Running") and Field - The Olympic discipline most in use by college students, getting from one place to another in as efficient a manner as possible. And running just makes you feel good! The other events, the "Field" part, focus on random things like leaping the farthest, throwing long spears or chunks of metal the longest distance, or using a flexible stick to leap over gigantic buildings in a single bound. 

Trampolining - Yes, somehow this is an Olympic sport. What the thrill-seekers who terrify their moms with backflips do when they grow up. Very cool to watch. 

Triathalon - The ultimate test of one's athleticism: Swimming a mile(!), then biking for a long ways,then running a marathon(!!). Few try it, which is why anyone who does automatically has their respect level go up about eight notches. 

Volleyball - is awesome. Definitely teaches perseverance, is a great stress reliever, and a good way to meet new people. Played on many surfaces, including wood, concrete, linoleum, sand, gravel, and kitty litter. For some reason viewed as a girl's game. 

Water Polo - The worst parts of nearly every ball game thrown together in a act of torture surely devised by Count Tyrone Rugen. Football or hockey without any sort of padding, where you can pummel people MMA-style without penalty, in the middle of a freaking pool?! Why not add sharks and pirahnas into the mix and have snipers shooting while they're at it? Seems horrendous to play, awful to watch. 

Weightlifting - Large drug-users lifting impossibly heavy objects. Yawn. 

Wrestling - The only event left from the Greek Olympics, but thankfully the participants wear clothes now, they try to trap ("pin") the other person to where they can't move. Doesn't involve a ball, so most people stay home instead of watching wrestling matches. 

The Amazing Spider-Man

       Rewatched "The Amazing Spider-Man" twice over Thanksgiving break, enjoyed getting to study it further. 

       There was something different in the wind as the release date kept sneaking up closer and closer...first the shocking news that it would be without Sam Raimi, Tobey Maguire, Kirsten Dunst and everybody else, then hearing that Mary Jane wouldn't be involved at all, and then that a British guy would be Peter Parker...the Lizard would be the villian, which sounded cool...and then there were the promos run during the NBA Finals, spliced together with highlights of the Thunder and Heat. Kinda interesting how often it would go from Spidey to KD or Westbrook or Harden, and from the Lizard to LeBron...well, the bad guy won that round, but there will be another day, sometime....
       Oh, right....the movie. Yeah. Well, like I said, I asked around who wanted to see it, Sam and Josh both were all for it. Suzanna, Cassie and Courtney jumped on board, Bennett followed; and then Marie and Katie and Lilya all asked if they could come along that morning. "Um...sure....we'll need to figure out how to get to the mall, though...." 
     
       Boy, was that ever a headache. Actually, the whole project was like construction work; as soon as you (think) you have one part tied down, another place needs to be worked on. At first we were going to go to Woodland Hills mall, a good generally-centerish spot from where everybody came from. Then we realized Woodland Hills didn't have a theater. "But isn't there a theaer like across the street or something...?" "Yeahhhh....but it's the cheap one that shows movies that a few months old, not the brand-new ones." "Okay...what about Promenade?" "Promenade's creepy! I always feel like - I don't know....it just doesn't feel safe." "Oh, I know, it's awful. But it does have a theater..." "...That isn't showing the movie." "....Oh." "Yeah." Hmm...."Hey, I think there's a theater over by Promenade that's within walking distance; could that work?' "We'll make it work, somehow; there's been too much planning gone into this already to back out now." "You got that right..." 
      So, it's Sunday, finally; the expedition is all planned out. We've enlisted the help of some parents to get us over there, and then we find we have about three new travelers along for the ride, throwing us into a scramble to figure out how to deal with the latest wrinkle. "If you can get a ride with somebody, I guess that's cool..." Stephen and Nick, newish guys to the youth group we were trying to welcome in, were going to come, but couldn't make it at the last second. Dylan probably would have came, too, but he was on vacation or something. I guess church went about ordinary, I have no idea, it was a few months ago and I was having a hard time paying attention. 

       We arrive at the mall, Cassie, who beat half our group there, has this quizzical and somewhat distressed look on her face. "I don't think they're showing it here, guys." "Oh, yeah..." Sam looks slightly embarrassed. "I guess we forgot to tell you the plan, huh?" "You're right, they aren't showing it here," I pick up the story. "which is why we're eating lunch here, and then walking to the theater." "Ohhh....." "Sorry....thought we'd told everybody that....so many details flying here and there. It's been a little hectic." "Yeah, and there was kind of a lot going on this morning." 
       There was, too...a lot of strange, tense undercurrents that didn't leave any clues just then for why they existed. But our gang managed to find the food court, took a look around to see what the food options were, then ate lunch. I wasn't hungry, just ate a brownie coated with peanut butter and chopped Reese's. Most of the others got Subway. Somehow or another, the conversation turned to those who couldn't make it, including Cassie's brother Garrett, and from there to speculation about his new girlfriend. Cassie's saying she wished that she had a boyfriend, and Bennett leaps in emphatically: "ME TOO!!!" Instant stunned silence for two seconds. "That was not - Wow....you know what I meant..." So. Awkward. It was pretty hysterical, though....once we were finished laughing, somebody involved with the CVS Scotch-Tape Incident commented on the similarities between the two statements; and that set off another round of uncontrollable mirth. 

       It's nearly 2 p.m, there's just enough time to walk over before the show starts. So we rush out the first door we see, and walk around the building....and around the building....and around the building....and realized we went in a huge circle. (The Horrible Sense of Direction strikes again!) We finally get pointed the right way, and race across too many large traffic-laden streets, going about a mile or so until we reach the movie theater, where we purchase tickets, head into the wonderful cool darkness of air-conditioning, waaaaiiiiitttt for those standing in line for popcorn, and then, finally, go pick our seats. We didn't have to be so choosy, I suppose; since there was only about ten other people in the whole rest of the theater, but this was a rare experience for most of us, and we wanted to make the most of it. 
       Well, nobody warned us about the previews. They started about 2:07 p.m. or so and rolled for TWENTY MINUTES STRAIGHT. Preview after preview after preview...most for shoot-'em-up actioners like The Bourne Legacy, The Dark Knight Rises, or a Total Recall reboot, crass "comedy" buddy movies like The Watch, or an interesting-looking Kevin James flick titled Here Comes the Boom, featuring an out-of-shape schoolteacher becoming an MMA fighter. And then without any heads-up a cousin to Pac-Man or Dig Dug or something fills the mammoth screen, a 1980's video game is being played. And then we see that it's the newest Disney movie coming out, about a video-game villain in a midlife crisis trying to become a hero, called Wreck-It Ralph. It stood out, for one, being a cute throwaway kid's movie in the middle of all these kill-people, loads-of-violence-and-gore films. I want to see that, kinda...looks good. 
       Yeah, so, anyway, the movie began about 2:30 p.m, it was different right from the opening credits. I had some trouble following the actual movie at first, examining all the new camera angles and editing techniques, adjusting to the lighting and dialogue, and otherwise noting the successfullness of how being trapped in a dark box can suspend disbelief so well. Movie theaters have amazing sound systems, by the way. So I was pretty distracted, monitoring all the chaos leading up to/on the trip, was hoping it would go down as a successful venture. Kind of like the person with the camera at Christmastime who runs all over the place documenting the holiday and never actually taking part of it, having been directing things behind the scenes so much as to not taking part in the actual play.
       And then I was noting the changes of lighting, camera, editing, scenery, wardrobe, music,ACTORS....and dialogue. And trying to unsuccessfully reconcile the obvious contradictions between this and the trilogy, never mind that this is a total reboot....took me about an hour to get fully involved with the plot, I wasn't really that impressed with the film. Peter was too cool-looking to be a believable nerd, the dialogue seemed mumbled all the time, the plot was shallow, and with the exception of Dr. Connors, every role was overacted and felt forced, and Peter and Gwen seemed way too old for their roles. The scene where Peter asked Gwen out was great; and there were a few zippy one-liners that were worthy of a grin, but overall I didn't know what to think of it, honestly...a real head-scratcher of a movie, that was maybe better cinematically than the original, but far short in terms of storytelling to the trilogy. But, then I had to remind myself that it's the beginning of a new trilogy, so hopefully things will make sense later on. I (of course) stayed behind for the credits, like I usually do, and there was this confounding miniscene halfway through that left us on even more of a cliff than we were already. I kinda went into a writer's vortex, a sort of trance that's somewhat indescribable how to explain. You kind of go into the story's world and attempt to know everything in it; to understand the entire universe of the tale. This movie was puzzling, it was an especially deep vortex they had to pull me out of. "Hey...you okay, Wes?" (Startled look at finding myself back in the real world) "Huh?! Oh....uh, yeah, I'm fine. Just was.. thinking." Cassie grins, knowing what the vortex is like. "He'll be all right." 

       Courtney hated it, I wasn't sure what I thought of it. This made Mom even more curious to watch it than she already was; so she was anxiously keeping an eye out for when it would come out on DVD. "Hey, we ought to see if Netflix has the new Spider-Man in stock yet!" "Already looked." "Did you put it in the queue?" "About two months ago, yep." "Oh, good! I'm moving it up to the top of the list."  So about the first thing Mom said when I got back for Thanksgiving break was: "Spider-Man came in yesterday! When do ya want to watch it?" Dad decided he'd watch, too, so we set in the family room and watched the film. It's a long movie...two hours and sixteen minutes. And there were a ton of previews here, too(I timed it later while doing laundry, there's at least thirteen minutes of trailers on the DVD.) 

       I liked it a lot better the second and third times. It's a darker, more realistic world; not quite as touching and at times corny as the trilogy. We don't know the characters' backstories and histories very much, so that kind of takes away your involvement as an audience. The dialogue feels more like true-to-life conversations, which somehow loses points, even though technically it should be better. And there isn't those awkward spaces where a phenomonal line is followed by a ridiculously out-of-place one. Denis Leary as Captain Stacy fit his role well; there was a few good exchanges and snappy insults, like the meatloaf, or the climbing up the fire escape. Like "Is that a real knife?" "Yes it's a real knife!" Or Gwen's exchange with her dad: "Hey hon, do you want some cocoa?" "No, Dad, I don't want some cocoa. I'm seventeen years old, not some little kid." "All right...I just thought last week somebody said her fantasy was to live in a chocolate house." "Welll...that would be impractical!...And fattening!" 
       The plot is shallow, yes; but it's very suspenseful...keeps you guessing all the time. A very slow-paced movie, but the action scenes are very set in this world(Strange, I know, seeing as they're between a gigantic mutant lizard and a human-sized arachnid, but....yeah.) Really intense. 
       Curt Connors makes a great villain, a man capable of great things, who went just a little off, which leads to some much mayhem....why are the bad guys so well-known and interesting to study throughout history? Darth Vader the most famous face of Star Wars. Napoleon and most of the Roman caesars. Hitler's rise to power. Anakin Skywalker's fall. Doc Ock's attempt to create a new energy source. The Lizard's efforts to restore health to amputees. MacGyver's arch-enemy, the incredibly crafty and malvolent Murdoc. Gollum. Maybe because they show us what can happen if we abuse the powers and gifts we've been given...and that in trying to do the best for others, we not only have to have the right motives(Genuinely wanting to help, not greed or lust or personal gain or pride or....), but we also have to go about it in the right way. We can't take shortcuts, because those are the paths to our downfall. Which is why it's so terrifying sometimes, this life, of always trying to make the right choices, right decisions. It's hard in places, what's right and good can be twisted and rearranged all everywhere so that we don't know which way to go. Thankfully, those of us who are Christians have the Holy Spirit leading and guiding us onward in the right way, but being humans, we kinda have this way of sinning. A lot. 

       Anyway, comparing all four films side-by-side, you see a lot of similarities: A gradual introduction to the main conflict, highlighted by lots of minor conflicts, violence, and personal growth. The villian is usually taken care of by the end, there's a lot of relational problems between characters, a lot of webs woven. We hear some good advice given, observe how mistakes can be overcome, and we our somehow...inspired by those stories. To live our ordinary humdrum lives in a way that's more heroic, to be better people.
       Something I was wondering the last few days/weeks, which was sort of brought up again by the movies: Which teaches us more, external conflict, which you may take part in, but otherwise don't have control over, or internal conflict, where it doesn't involve any outsiders, but for that same reason, makes it so much harder to deal with? What makes the better story? And which is easier to deal with? 
       I don't really know. But whatever trials and struggles we face, no matter how dark the road ahead may seem; God will not test us beyond what we can bear(1 Corinthians 10:13), and He will provide a way through the whatever-it-is that we're facing. We just have to do our best to hang on to the truth of His Word, and try to believe the promises and follow His commands. Which is a lot easier said than done sometimes, which is why the church exists, to strengthen and encourage our fellow believers.

       Oh, by the way....witty comebacks towards the problem may not solve all of it, but they don't hurt, either. And they make us feel better.