Thursday, August 28, 2014

Soccer Summer - Part Three

     The third and final part of this updated story about the Panthers YMCA soccer team.

“Hey, David. What’s up?” I answered my phone, wondering how he got my number.
“Hi, Coach.” He sounded sort of worn out and defeated. “Umm….I’m not gonna be able to play our next game, I don’t think. Sort of sick.”
“Okay…thanks for letting me know. What’s the deal?” “Sinus infection, and my dog just died.”
“Ah…Yeah, makes sense.”
“I just – I feel like I’m letting y’all down, but – and I’m nearly better, but…losing Penny, I just…can’t play.”
“I understand.”
“..You do?”
“Yeah…lost several pets in the last year. Several friends, family…it won’t be okay, really, ever. But you’ll learn to move on past it.”
“If you say so.”
“Whenever you can play again, we’ll be glad to have ya.”
“Okay."

“Heyyyy…” Chrissy’s tone sounded strange.  
“Yo, whazzup?”
“Um…well….I, uh, I’m stuck on the side of the highway.”
“Okayy…”
“Yeah.”
“So…you’re stuck.”
“Uh-huh. Can you pick me up?”
“Chrissy – The game starts in –“
“I know,” she interrupted miserably.
“All right, I’ll call Trent. Where are ya?”
The game was held indoors at the YMCA gym, the other site of games aside from Lawson Park, we were facing the Morgan’s Bakery Dalmatians. The game ended in a 2-2 tie, it was described as “a fiasco”. Alex and Zoey crashed into each other twice, Justin and Wayne got into a fight and had to be suspended; and Trent got so frustrated he started cussing a blue streak, which didn’t help things(at all). He was tossed out, too; kicking the ball for good measure, it hammered some old guy’s head. Tammy Owens came to the rescue, putting Questions in goal, moving Travis to defender alongside Abby, Bailey moved up to midfield, Ashton to forward, Reese was put in as a midfielder, with Alex and Zoey, both with sore knees and hopping around from the pain, filling in as best they could at forward with Ashton and Kelsey. The other games were less eventful, but still crazy, with the Wild Things beating the Avengers 2-0 in the other inside game that seemed more like hockey than anything else; and the Roadrunners tying the Falcons 1-1 outside, and finally the Lasers and Mustangs battled to a 3-3 tie. 
Chrissy’s car was in the shop for several weeks. It made things interesting. Other factors which also made life more difficult were Trent giving up on coaching and falling off the face of the earth, the two-game suspensions for Justin and Wayne, several expletive-filled angry phone calls from Wayne’s dad, and a handful of other things irrelevant to this story.
Down three players, we were stampeded by the Holden’s Drive-In Mustangs by a 6-2 score; we did play well as a team, though. The next week we were able to tie the Lasers 2-all, which was better than expected. They’d improved greatly from the start of the season.

In between those games, David was welcomed back eagerly by his teammates as he came back for practice on Tuesday night. “We missed ya,” Chrissy said. “Glad to have you out here,” He managed a weak smile. “Yeah, thanks.”
“You doing okay?”
He tried to come up with an  answer, but no words came. He shrugged instead. “Depends on the day.”
“Okay,” I nodded. “Go work with Bailey on his offense, try to take it away.”
He sprinted away, focus sharpened on the job to do to keep him from thinking. Justin was doing the same drill with Questions, as were Kelsey and Travis and Zoey and Wayne. Alex was trying to coax Abby into playing, Ashton was working with Reese on the same subject.
“Maybe thrown-ins after this?” Chrissy asked me on the sidelines.
“I was thinking passing circle, but we could do that afterwards, I guess.”
“Okay,” my sister looked satisfied.
Tammy Owens walked up beside us. “How’s David doing?”
We looked at her. “We were going to ask you?”
“No, I meant on the field,” Tammy clarified.
“It’s gettin’ his mind off losing his dog for a bit, so that’s as well as can be expected, I guess,” I said after a pause.
“Good,” she said.
“Did he catch a ride with you guys?” Chrissy asked.
“Yeah, Ash and Alex have been hanging out with him pretty often, helping him grieve, and just kind of being friends He’s lonely. His parents’ divorce, that was rough on him, he’s hurting, and then Penny on top of that….” Tammy shook her head.
“Ash is gonna be in David’s class, and he and Alex both enjoy drawing. Then there’s soccer and stuff, sometimes he’s came along with us to church, too. They’ve been playing Mario Kart all afternoon, I was able to get over to Wal-Mart before coming we came over here.”
Chrissy and I nodded. “Thanks for helping with the drinks and snacks and stuff.”
“Sure, no problem,” laughed Tammy. “I was gonna pick some stuff up anyway, so it wasn’t a big deal.”
Chrissy whistled the kids over to work on thrown-ins. “Okay, y’all! We’re gonna try something a little different here. When the ball goes out of bounds, then it works like basketball, and you throw the ball back into play. Got it?”
“Could you show us?” (Who else?) Questions asked. Several kids rolled their eyes.
“Sure, why not?” She demonstrated, tossing a pass to Bailey. The kids practiced for a bit, Justin and David were discussing something. “Hey, Chrissy?”
‘Yeah?”
“What if you needed to throw it….farther?” “Like, if the defense was playing tight, but they’d overlooked someone else on the other side of the field.”
She grinned. “Welllll…..in that case…I’ll show ya. Ball help?” A silver ball was lobbed in her direction, and with that, she proceeded to do a handspring and fling the ball across the field, on one bounce it hit a goalpost and slowly came to a stop very near the net. “Holy cow,” Tammy marveled. The kids were stunned, then they started exploding. “HOW did you do that??” “Is that LEGAL?” “Get. Out.” “No. Way.” “Did you just….?” “I can’t even…” Ashton and Zoey had a gleam in their bright eyes, and Kelsey’s irises were huge in amazement.
“Uh….is it possible to do that in a cartwheel?” Ashton wondered. “How do you practice that?” Zoey and Kelsey wanted to know. “Is it possible for guys to do that?” somebody wanted to know.
“It’s actually probably easier to do as a cartwheel, if you know how.” Chrissy tried to answer everybody’s questions. “Guys don’t try very often, but occasionally you see ‘em try. There’s not really a good way to explain how to do it except practice a lot.”
Naturally, that’s all anyone wanted to try to do for the rest of that practice. Most attempted cartwheels failed miserably, and I was no help, since I never really figured them out. So I kind of held their ankles steady while they did headstands. 

It was a July Saturday when we faced the Falcons, which means it was HOT. Thankfully, it was an indoor game at the Y. And they smoked us. The score didn’t sound too bad – Falcons 4, Panthers 2 – but it felt quite a bit worse.
We were doing pretty well to start out with, Travis was pouncing on whichever few balls Bailey and Zoey couldn’t get rid of, Kelsey and Wayne were sticking like glue to their kids, and David and the Owenses were doing all those little things that usually don’t show up in the stats, but were bound to show up on the video Sarah and Paisley were shooting. When we swapped out players late in the first quarter, Abby did an admirable job of being around the ball, and Reese tentatively poked his foot out and nudged the rolling ball. Justin was getting double-teamed most of the time he was in, and when he wasn’t, he was getting tripped. Stephen the ref called them those times he could see the fouls happen, so it kind of worked out.
“Does the other team being sponsored by a funeral home strike anybody else as kind of creepy?” Gary Owens asked around. “Sure it does,” answered Kevin Patrick. “but they’ve got to advertise somehow, don’t they?” Gary shook his head. “I suppose…” “It’s never too early to plan for those kinds of things, you know. What would your wives say if they woke up one day and you were gone without making any sort of arrangements?” Bailey’s grandma asked. Kevin and Gary looked at each other. “Did she just…?”
The Falcons scored a goal late in the second, we tied it up early in the third by way of Ashton’s pass to Kelsey. Just after that Justin stole the ball and looked around to see who was open. The quick answer was, well, nobody. So he just killed it along the length of the gym; where the ball slammed off the back wall on one hop, Alex took control and slipped it past their goalie before anyone quite realized what happened. 2-1 Panthers. And after that was when it really went south. Bailey missed a takeaway attempt and Trav wasn’t ready for a shot so soon; that tied the game. Then the Falcons lured Kelsey into a trap near the midfield corner, stole the ball away and cut triangle-shaped holes in our shocked defense as they flew upfield. David and Ashton’s attempts to halt their progress were miserable failures; he spun around in confusion trying to figure out where the ball was going and she slipped and skidded on her rear along the hardwood floor. If they messed up that badly, was there any chance Trav could do anything to stop the other team? Late in the game Zoey was charging towards an attacker, only to have Stephen the ref step unexpectedly in her path. She cut hard to avoid him and wound up pulverizing poor Abby. Seeing that unexpected hole due to the improvised pick, they shot and the ball went past Questions. And that was pretty much the end.

Our last game of the season was outside on the park field against the Shuttle Stop-sponsored Avengers team. They had a redhaired girl that was a decent passer and another kid who was even better than she was. They wore Nos. 11 and 8, respectively.
“Black Widow and Hawkeye?” Chrissy asked, watching me watching them. I raised my eyebrows, she did the same. “We’re siblings. Don’t ask how it works, I don’t know.”
Their goalie looked like he was talking to himself. And chewing some teammates out. But he did command their respect…and had some serious jumping ability. “Stark.” “Yep.”
We gathered our team around us, their bright eyes glowing with excitement and fear. “This is a really good team, guys, they play really well together. But if we work well together – putting our teammates first – then we’ll see what happens on the scoreboard by the end. Think you can take ‘em?” “Sure, why not?” Wayne answered immediately. “Let’s play. We’ll find out.” David said. “That works for me.” Kelsey shrugged one shoulder and grinned. Let’s go, then,” Chrissy nodded and the huddle started to break up.
Justin looked thoughtful. “…Avengers, huh?” Curious stares. “Yeah, that’s what they’re called…” “So, we can pull together from everywhere else. Become a part of Larry’s nightmares.” I had no idea what he was talking about, and nobody else seemed to know, either. “Like Sherriff Tom told Larry in The Big Green,” Alex explained. “I think it was that Japanese kid Tak who said that, actually…” “Yeah, so, if they’re Avengers, why can’t some of us be, too? Or other characters we like?” Justin continued. “Zoey, you’re the Energizer Bunny.” She grinned in agreement. “David, you’re a little like Agent Coulson. Alex, maybe a little bit of Loki? I’m not sure.” They looked at each other. “I’d really be happy if you don’t kill me right now.” David said straight-faced. “Kelsey, you’re Kate Douglas. The rest of you….I don’t know. Just pick somebody, and give it the best job you can. Enjoyed having y’all on my team.” “Well, that about covers it. Get on out there.” I herded them out onto the field. “Um, Ryan?” “Hmm?” “Who do we have starting?” I chewed my lip in thought. “Let’s set Questions in goal, and….I’ll let you guys figure the rest out.”
They went with Alex and Zoey as defenders, Bailey, David and Kelsey as midfielders and Justin as the lone forward. An interesting idea, saving Wayne and Ashton on the bench. It seemed to work pretty well, though; what we lacked in offense we kept them running pretty fast while our Panthers played Keepaway. Nobody really had any chance of scoring. The closest was when David and Hawkeye got into it a little bit battling for control, tipping each other’s passes out away from their intended targets. We switched to Trav in goal and swapped in Abby, Reese, Ashton and Wayne for Alex, Kelsey, Justin and Bailey. The Avengers had their Team 2 out as well, and things went about the same as ever.
Towards the end of the second quarter the ball skittered out of bounds off of Red. Wayne started to make a move to throw it back in, only to have Ashton stop him. He stared at her a minute, confused, then shrugged and let her go. She took the ball from the ref, backed up four steps, then launched forward into a cartwheel/handspring thing. It caught me by surprise; and most of the Avengers. Our bench erupted; and the stands were atwitter.
“Did you get that?” Kevin asked Paisley, who was busily shooting away. “I think so….haven’t had time to check.”
“HOW did she…?”
“Is that LEGAL?” Gary Owens wondered.
“You win the gold medal, Ashley honey!” That last one was from Bailey’s grandma. There were a lot of snickers and giggles following.
“Thattaway, Ash…” Chrissy murmured approvingly.
Tammy’s fists were clenched, she was biting her lip hard, terrified that Ashton would kill herself with gymnast moves like that.
The ball flew through the air and disappeared into the cloudy sky. While everyone else was shocked into spectating, David had snuck downfield and more-or-less controlled the missile of a pass on two hops. Ashton bolted towards where the ball had gone immediately after release, getting a jump on everyone else. Off-balance, David passed it back up to the charging Ashton. She faked to her right, which Stark the goalie bit on. David backed up to open a lane for her to shoot; the ball was hit hard. The net rippled from the impact, and the world blew up. Okay, I made up that last part. But it would have been kinda cool….though we’d probably also all be dead. This is what spending my summer with a bunch of little kids has done to me. Anyway, we all went crazy. Ashton was group-hugged and high-fived, Chrissy was having a conniption, I whooped and hollered and the parents were going berserk. “Nice shot,” David commented. “Thanks. Get back on defense.” “Hey,” the Avengers’ No. 11 approached them. “Good work out there.”
We held the lead through halftime and most of the third quarter. The Avengers had the ball deep in our territory, Hawkeye had the ball down near the end line with the goal on his right and he was being hassled by Alex and Justin. The Black Widow broke loose on the other side of the goal and was spotted by her teammate. He snapped off a pass in her direction, which looked at the moment very full of yellow shirts. She broke away from Kelsey and leaped over David’s slide tackle attempt. Zoey was the only defender left and she gamely tried to get between the ball and the Avenger. But No. 11 ducked down and slid, her foot delivering a volleyball-like cut-shot that Questions couldn’t track. Tie game. Zoey smiled her admiration of her opponent’s skills. “That was nice,’ David said. “Thanks,” she nodded. From somewhere in the stands a voice called out, “Way to go, Nat! Great job!” Nat rolled her eyes. “Parents….” Kelsey groaned in agreement. “Gotta love ‘em, but….yeah.”
It started raining a couple minutes after that goal, and parents scrambled for umbrellas. Paisley and Sarah hurriedly hid their cameras. The field turned into a muddy Slip’n’Slide, and it was exactly like that early practice we had. Our most important players became David and the Owenses out of necessity; they were our best passers. But the field was a gigantic mud-pit. All we were missing were Ernie the goat and that song “Sunny Side Up” over the montage. The game ended in a tie, which while not what we were hoping for, it was better than getting beat 17-0, so that’s something.

            We hosted a end-of-season party down in Tulsa at Incredible Pizza, Wayne and Justin challenged Kelsey to a pizza-eating competition; Abby loved the skee-ball, which Trav and Bailey helped her with; Kelsey’s dad beat Questions in mini-golf. I borrowed Paisley’s camera as most of the parents and Chrissy raced go-karts; Tammy spun Sarah and Gary ended up winning. Abby gave Chrissy a huge hug and said loudly, “I yove Kwissy!” Chrissy grinned at the little munchkin. “You’re pretty great, too, Abby.” “Did you have fun playing soccer?” I glanced at Heather Colson, who also looked unsure if this question would be understood. “Me – I pway it again?”    

           This whole experience was an adventure. I’m not sure I’d want it repeated, but I guess I will kind of miss those kids. I hope that they had fun. I’m back at Hawkins now, and Chrissy is settled in at MC. Trent sort of disappeared, which isn’t that noticeable in college. It happens to a lot of people. Hopefully the kids had fun and learned a lot. Sarah and Paisley made an awesome highlight slideshow DVD and gave copies out to everyone, so that will be a cool memory they can look back on. It was interesting to get to meet a person like Abby; never met someone with Down Syndrome before. Or spina bifida, either. I guess we probably shouldn’t have had favorites, but I liked Zoey’s energy, and David’s quiet willingness to do whatever he could to help. And all the Owenses….can they adopt me? Haha, kidding. But they were good people. Wonder what each of them will do in the future….heck, I’m wondering what I’m gonna do in the future. And we only won one game, lost three and tied three. But maybe it doesn’t matter how well they played. Maybe what matters is that they learned stuff, like how to play soccer, or deal with new things and people. Anyway, it was an interesting experience." 

Soccer Summer - Part Two

      The second part of my retelling/update of those early Panthers stories.

            "“Are you sure about having practice tonight?”
“Yep. First game is Saturday, we could use it.”
“It’s raining.” Trent complained.
“And this is soccer.” Chrissy reminded him. “So?” “So, they’re kids. Rain is the perfect weather to play soccer in!”
“Eh…” He shook the rain off his cap and pulled his hood over the top of it.
            Now, the parents were probably miserable, and Bailey’s grandma, they mostly stayed crouched inside the safety of their vehicles. The field was a mess. Puddles everywhere, and the places with the grass worn out by shoes pounding it relentlessly were mud slicks. Naturally that was where the balls were generally headed. “Control” became the main focus, as everyone was just trying to stay upright. On the other hand, slide tackles became all of a sudden much more fun to work on. Chrissy had brought a few extra towels from the house, we had them get their hands and arms somewhat clean, then Trent and I hauled a large cardboard box out of Chrissy’s minivan. “Panthers, we’re officially a team now.”
            With that, Trent opened the box and began to lay the jerseys out. “David,” he announced, handing him the No. 11 to wear. “Justin,” an extra-long No. 12. Kelsey made a beeline for the No. 10, snatching it up before anyone else could claim it. “My lucky number!” Chrissy handed Reese and Abby the smallest jerseys available, which still looked more like dresses than T-shirts. They became Nos. 3 and 2, respectively. Ashton tried on her No. 4, Alex was admiring his No. 5. Travis and Connor took Nos. 6 and 9, which seemed fitting, the same number inverted for the goalies. Wayne took the No. 16 with a slight smirk. “My name’s Montana, so…” “Thought you’d pick that one.” I nodded. Bailey took the No. 7, Zoey’s energy could now be tracked by following the No. 8.  The No. 0, No. 1, No. 13, No. 14 and No. 15 were tucked away back in the box for spares.
            They were yellow-gold, “PANTHERS” written out on the chest in large block type, the league crest in the right corner, with the sponsor’s name lettered over the back above the numbers.

       It was Saturday, the last weekend in May, sunny and warm, with a slight breeze and some clouds. The Panthers were set to play the Roadrunners, sponsored by East Central Electric. They wore sky-blue jerseys with a black typeface and numbering. “Okay, here’s our starting lineup,” I told the team, gathered about in a huddle before warmups. “We can have six players out on the field at one time, not counting the goalie. So we’ll start out with Travis in goal, Bailey and Zoey as defenders, David as midfielder, with Justin, Wayne and Kelsey as forwards, got it?” There were several nods. “We’re probably have Ashton come in when one of the forwards needs a rest, or maybe if David needs a breather. Alex, too, and Connor will alternate with Trav by quarter. We’ll try to get everybody in the game at some point.” “What’s ‘alternate’ mean?” Conner wondered. Wayne rolled his eyes. “It means to switch.” “Okay, thanks.”
            Trent took over directing the shooting line, Chrissy was organizing a water station with Tammy. “Water in the red jug, Gatorade in the orange.”
“What flavor?”
“Orange, it was on sale.” Tammy answered.
“Okay, cool. Thanks.” I took a cupful.
“You look terrible,” Chrissy whispered.
“I thought you were supposed to outgrow the butterflies?” I hissed back.
“Didn’t work for my soccer or softball games.”
“Why is it called ‘softball’ when the ball is so much harder?”
“Good question! I’ve always wondered that myself,” Tammy jumped into our conversation.
            They gathered near the middle of the field, the ref looked around at the players. “Hey guys, I’m Stephen.” Kelsey, Wayne and Justin introduced themselves, as did the Roadrunners’ forwards, Summer, Jon, Mike, and Caleb. They were playing some crazy scheme that looked like four forwards, two midfielders and no defenders, compared with our 3-1-2 formula.    
“Okay, honey, remember, we do not need play-by-play commentary on here, got it?” Sarah Patrick snapped at her husband Kevin. He rolled his eyes. “Okayyy…I can still cheer, right?” Sarah raised an eyebrow. “You might embarrass her.” “She’s almost a teenager.” “She won’t be a teenager for a while yet, so don’t rush it.”
“Would it be okay to pray?” Connor asked Trent. “Uhh….sure. What for, though?” “I dunno. Just….that we won’t mess up, maybe.” “Go ahead, Questions.”
Stephen the ref blew his whistle, and the scoreboard clock ticked down from 8:00 in the first quarter. The Roadrunners got the ball first, they passed it among themselves for about ten seconds, getting their bearings. Then everything kind of exploded. Six light blue jerseys against six yellow, calories getting burned up as only kids at play and on a mission can. Shouts of encouragement came from parents and grandparents in the stands, we were giving instructions, their coach was too.
“Let’s go, guys!” Ashton called from the sidelines. “Nice pass, David. C’mon now…no…no…that’s right, yes! Give it to Wayne – All right, all right, that’s okay…after him, Zoey! Sic ‘em, thattaway…” Alex looked like he wished he wasn’t related to her.
The ball skittered out of bounds, off a bad pass by Justin intended for Bailey. Out came Wayne and Justin, in went the Owenses. Still nobody had scored yet, the Roadrunners’ crazed attack had made the first half of the first quarter more like a hockey game than soccer; crazy, violent and out-of-control frequently. And the ball rarely retreated past the center line out of Panther territory, all their energy was being spent trying to contain or corral their opponents.
“You’re playing too rough, kids! Be carefuller!” Bailey’s grandma admonished the players, much to the amusement of those sitting near her.
Paisley Chandler panned her camera around the stands and sidelines, trying to capture every moment of this environment.
Zoey was playing fantastic; Bailey, too. Despite all the onslaught of attacking players, Travis had only had to stop two shots, both hurried and off-target. There they went again, poking away at the ball, pestering the life out of the Roadrunners’ Summer, who always wore a backwards Jeff Gordon ballcap. Bailey kept her practicing for a square dance long enough for Zoey to slap the ball away, out to Alex, who dribbled enough to clear an open space for David to shoot through. Alex passed to David, who then launched a long ball deep into the Roadrunners’ territory. It wasn’t actually all that deep, but it felt like it, given that the entire game had been played on our side of the field so far. Kelsey tracked down the runaway ball, well ahead of most everybody else. She guided it farther along towards the goal, ditching it off to Ashton at the last second. Ashton trapped the pass, caught almost as off-guard as the Roadrunner goalie, hopped left sideways to get clear of her defender, faked a shot right, then let loose an attempt waist-high in the left corner. Checkmate.
Yeahhhhh!!!” Kelsey shouted with excitement unbridled, giving her teammate a double high-five. Justin slapped Ashton on the back. She looked at the scoreboard. “I just…holy cow. I just scored a goal!!!” She turned a cartwheel, then hugged the first teammate she saw, in this case, David. He looked embarrassed, shrugging her off. “Get back on defense,” he muttered. “Oh. Right, thanks!”
The first quarter ended with that lone goal, the Panthers’ defense was beginning to wear down. “Okay, let’s have…Abby, Reese, Questions, Wayne…” Trent bit his lip. “Alex, Ashton, and Bailey.” There were several surprised looks, myself included. “If you get the ball, keep control of it, don’t worry about having to score. Let’s just try to kill some time.” Abby raised her hand. “Yes, Abby?” Chrissy questioned. “Cwock…dead?” “Um…he just meant to have fun running around.” “Okay!”
“Hey, guys?” Trent pulled Ashton and Wayne off to the side. “Yeah, Coach?” “Just…don’t exactly go easy on them, but make sure they get some practice in. Make sure they have fun.”
Wayne looked dubious. “I don’t know if I can do that.”
“It’s easy, I’ll teach you,” Ashton said.
“You’re a girl.”
“So?”
“So…you’ve got some, I don’t know, nurturing instinct in your genes or something.”
She grinned. “Just follow my lead.” Wayne shrugged and rolled his eyes. 
Kelsey took a sip of Gatorade, getting her breath back. Travis was fidgeting, as was Zoey. Justin bent down to retie his shoe. David was staring into space, focused on something or other. None of them were especially thrilled to be watching instead of out there on the field, in the action.
Wayne’s dad was berating our tactics to anyone who would listen. “They’ve got those (expletive deleted) little brats out there, they’re gonna get killed! No way we’ll win…” Murmurs of dissension at this statement. Tammy was glaring daggers at him “Knock it off, it’s just a kids game,” Heather muttered. “I thought this stuff quit in college…” Gary Owens mused. Kevin Patrick grinned in an ironic fashion. “You must not keep up with sports that much, then.” “Only TV, really. Can’t afford to go to games, except high school.” “Gotcha…I know a guy who has season tickets to Chiefs games; so I go about two or three times a year. Maybe you could join me sometime.” “That might be good.”
What wasn’t so good was the way the game was going. Sarah had switched into photo mode, seeing Paisley was shooting video of the action. The lens captured three Roadrunners goals in seventy-three seconds. Sarah’s shutter captured the images of a discouraged bench, pleading to be reinserted into the game.
“Do we have timeouts?” Trent asked me.
“Um….I don’t know. Call one and see what happens?”
“We do. One timeout per quarter.” Kelsey answered. Trent frowned at her. “Why didn’t you tell me that before?”
“Because you never asked….duh. And why didn’t you study the rulebook before now?” He looked like he wanted to blow up. “She does have a point.” “Shut. –“ he paused, remembering little ears. “Be quiet.” to me. “Time-out!!!” to the ref.
Stephen, a sophomore at Eastern State, obligingly blew the tin whistle. Our Panthers gathered into a huddle. “Get a drink if you need it, guys,” Chrissy gestured at the cups of Gatorade waiting by the water cooler. “Okay, let’s have our starting lineup in there, except Questions still is in goal and Ashton is taking Wayne’s place. Let’s go.” Things went a little better after that, began to get some good passes going, moving the ball well. Justin got a shot off but was wide right, and one of Kelsey’s missiles was just a touch too high, skimming off the top of the net, while the other the ball was nudged just enough at the last minute that her foot hit a shin instead. PhweeeTTT… “Free kick, Blue.”
Our modest success forced the Roadrunners’ coach, who was in the customer service/marketing department at East Central, to alter her 4-2-0 scheme into a 3-2-1 setup, which we were able to penetrate in the third quarter. Intercepting a pass, Zoey charged full speed ahead upfield, David dropping back to cover her territory. She knocked the ball sideways over to Wayne, who almost immediately drew a double-team. He flicked it out to Kelsey, who sent it diagonally back to Zoey, she slowed down to the pace of a greyhound to receive it cleanly, shifting back up to her comet setting. This speed burst caught the attention of nearly everyone. Justin was camped out by the goal, something like in hockey. Seeing an open teammate, the Energizer Bunny slipped a pass to the Giraffe, and it was almost too easy. Justin just had to tap the ball into the net.
“Thattaway!!!!!!” Paisley went nearly berserk. She nearly dropped the camera, she was so excited. “Now don’t do that ever again.” We said, more or less, exactly the same thing. The Roadrunners faked Travis out, resulting in an easy goal, and then Connor had one more ball go past him in the fourth quarter, the game ended in a 5-2 loss.
“You guys played pretty well today, there were some things we’ll need to work on, but that’s expected, it’s only our first game. We played some good defense, Bailey and Zoey specially; good passes, moved the ball well. We’ll have our next practice Tuesday night, and then back here for our game with the Wild Things.” In other games in our league, the Wild Things lost to the Lasers 2-1 in a shootout, the Avengers pounded the Dalmatians 5-0, and the Falcons and Mustangs almost scored two touchdowns, Mustangs winning 8-5.

I’ll skip ahead to next Saturday, we were facing the Wild Things, and they were awful. Mostly a defensively-minded team, our defenders basically played at midfield just to get a chance to touch the ball. Kelsey and Justin were dribbling circles around their confused opponents, David and Ashton passing around like a game of Keepaway with four-year-olds. The scoreboard showed Panthers 4, Wild Things 0, and it was only the second quarter. Wayne looked so bored that he was nearly falling asleep standing up, he’d scored our first goal, then Justin, Kelsey and David.
By halftime I’d had more than enough. “That’s…uh, good, what y’all did out there. So…our starters will rest most of, if not all, the second half. We – It’s embarrassing.” Several nervous giggles. “Sorry…”
We sent out Ashton, Alex, Zoey and Bailey as attackers, Abby and Reese to defend. They did well; Ashton notched two goals, Alex added another, Abby made two or three halfway-decent passes, and Reese  kicked a ball rolling towards him without cowering away in petrified terror. There was, unfortunately for nearly everyone except Wayne’s dad, one entire period left to go. That’s when somebody had the brilliant idea to practice defense on themselves, if not against the Wild Things. Our offense needed the practice, it seemed. Justin let a ball go by him, Alex managed to slow it down, not quite trapping it before it was knocked away by several green jerseys, and despite Ashton’s valliant attempt to clear it away, it slipped over the end line. Happily, it wasn’t anywhere between the goalposts. Stephen the ref was flipping through his rule book. “Can’t you call this thing over by now?” Chrissy pleaded. He looked pained. “There isn’t a mercy rule that I can find. Sorry.”
“End it,” was all Trent could say during a quick time-out. They tried. Kelsey launched a perfect pass up the middle to Wayne, who ricocheted the sphere towards Justin, he headed it down to David, his shot was ever-so-slightly wide left. Everyone packed up as soon as they possibly could. Besides that horrible 7-0 disaster win, their team didn’t even get a shot off all day, the Roadrunners galloped away from the Lasers 5-0, the Falcons took down the Dalmatians 4-2, and the Mustangs and Avengers fought a tough battle before the Avengers’ 4-3 victory. 

“So…what can we work on for practice tomorrow night?” I asked while picking up the dinner dishes.
“Welll…” Chrissy thought a minute. “Wayne always looks either bored out of his mind or like he’s going to kill somebody, maybe lighten up?”
“Yeah…it’s his dad. He doesn’t even like soccer all that much, but his dad drives him so hard…he’s scared to death he isn’t gonna measure up.”
“Abby and Reese seem to be improving some, they both touched the ball without acting like it was radioactive or anything.”
“Uh-huh…that’s good.”
“Connor and Trav’s goalkeeping?”
“It could use some work,”
“And what about just getting to know the kids, what they enjoy, what they don’t, like that?”
“That’s a great idea, sis!”

Most of the team was standing in a circle passing four balls around, Travis and Connor were standing there uncertainly looking at each other, getting ready to defend the goal from my shooting. “You guys ready?” “Uh…sure…” “I guess?” I stepped back and took a practice shot. Sailed over the top of the net and bounced off Tammy’s Suburban. “Whoops…sorry!” She grinned and made an “It’s fine” gesture. Our goalies were staring at each other open-mouthed. “Did. You. See…?” “No way.” “I need more practice.” I commented cheerfully.
Justin nudged Kelsey. “Did you see what Ryan just did?” “No, what?” “Punted a field goal that hit Mrs. Owens’ car.” Kelsey’s eyes lit up. “Seriously? That’s awesome!”
I purposely aimed short and low for the next few kicks, sending skidding grounders their way. Trav pounced on several, Connor more clumsily stopped his.
“How does he shoot left-footed?” ‘I don’t know…wonder if he could teach us?” was Justin’s reply. “I never understood how he did that,” Trent commented.
Chip-shot time, a few light floaters in a row now. Trav had no chance, Questions swatted down the balls near him easily.
The passing circle had broken up by now, our trio was drawing curious stares from their teammates and encouragements shouted towards the goalies. The parents waiting tonight began to be interested, too. Tammy, Sarah, Kevin and Paisley stepped just inside the sideline, waiting to see what would happen next. “Don’t go easy on ‘em, Ryan!” Kevin yelled. I must have looked dubious. “It’ll make ‘em better,” Tammy affirmed. Sarah returned from her car with her Canon. I shrugged. “Here goes nothin’,” I planted my anchor foot solidly in the grass and hammered that ball. Left corner, high. Connor leaped for it, and got a hand on the lime green meteor. It didn’t have a prayer of not going in, but he touched it, which was amazing in itself, given the speed and trajectory. “All right!!” Wayne clapped. “Good one, Questions,” Chrissy said softly.
We continued this drill for about five minutes more, then gathered into a large loosely-spread-out huddle. “So…what’re we supposed to do now?” Trent muttered.
“Talk,” I answered.
 “About…?”
“Well, why did you guys sign up this season? What do you like about playing soccer?” I asked the kids.
“My dad wanted me to,” Wayne said.
“I had to play,” David said quietly.
“Tried it last year, had a good time, and Alex wanted to stick together,” Ashton answered.
“I want to win. If there’s a sport to play, I’ll try it,” stated Kelsey.
“I don’t know…just seemed like a good way to spend the summer, I guess,” was Justin’s answer.
“My grandma gets her sports mixed up. She thought I was signing up to play football,” Bailey giggled. “Well, you sorta are…” Kelsey thought about it.
“My mom! She was tired of me zooming all over the place, said I needed ‘an outlet for all that energy’, or somethin’ like that,’ Zoey laughed.
Everyone else laughed, too.
“I wanted to learn about a new sport,” Connor explained.
“I don’t know why I’m here,” Reese murmured.
“Wanted to play with Ash,” Alex smiled shyly.
“Want pway ball, I kick it!” Abby leaped into the conversation, whether by impatience or actually understanding the question for once, nobody knew for sure. “That’s a good reason,” Chrissy grinned. “The Big Green,” Travis looked embarrassed.
“LOVE that movie!” “That’s a great one!” We looked at each other, one of those almost twin-like mental connection times. “Do they usually do that?” somebody asked Trent. “What? Say the same thing at the same time?” “Yeah. It’s weird.” “Is not!” Me, Chrissy and the Owenses all said together. “See what we mean?” Kelsey hummed that old Britney Spears song “Oops, I Did It Again”.
“Wow. I just realized something. We were like, almost your all’s age when that song came out.” Trent marveled to himself.
“Is The Big Green the one with the goat?” Justin asked. “Uh-huh, Ernie.” Trav nodded. “Yeah, I think I’ve seen that.”
“What about the one with that dog?” “Air Bud 3, World Pup?” “No; the movie with that teacher lady from The Big Green.” The coaching staff stared at each other blankly for a minute. “Oh! Soccer Dog?” Chrissy remembered hazily. “Yup. That’s a good one.” “I didn’t really like that one.” she answered. “Huh. Why not?”
“Which movie is it with the Buzzards and Hurricanes? There’s those pretty girls in it, and they change teams…” Giggles and stares led to Wayne’s sentence trailing off, as he realized he’d admitted to thinking some girls were pretty. “Switching Goals. That’s got the Olsen twins in it.” I nodded. “And they could play, too!” Wayne added emphatically, to ward off any further accusations of holding a crush on movie stars. “You aren’t the only one who thought they looked and played pretty nice,” I grinned slightly. Trent grew alarmed. “Who, me?”
“So who was it you wanted on the Panthers; Sam or Emma?”
“Both…” he muttered.
“See?” I grinned. Chrissy rolled her eyes, looking disgusted.
           “How ‘bout a quick race before calling it a night? From one goal to the other,” she urged the team on. They clamorously took up a shaky line by the goalpost. “You guys, too.” “Hey, look, Deputy Dog! Got any Twinkies, Dawg?” I laughed to myself, trying to get up to speed behind them.  These are good kids, they get obscure movie references. Or maybe that just means I have terrible movie preferences?" 

Soccer Summer - Part One

    The first stories I ever made up that were written down were about a YMCA soccer team called the Panthers, heavily influenced by the Matt Christopher "Soccer Cats" books. I was seven, and from time to time I've wondered what became of a few of the main characters from those stories. So I had some time early last summer and whipped up this story, a continuation of those 2000-01 Panther stories. I kinda like some of these kids on this team.

          "I’m not really sure how we ended up getting roped into doing this, but there I stood on the sidelines of a soccer field, trying to get these kids on my team to follow what we were saying, and…well, honestly I was wondering what the heck had I done. This was what I’d agreed to spend my summer doing? Was it time to go back to school yet?

            It first registered as real when the schedules were sent out. They looked ordinary enough; eight teams in the 7-to-9-year-old division, sponsored by local businesses and given nicknames chosen by the coaches. Seven games in the season, one each weekend, and then the top four teams went to the playoffs, leading to the final on the ninth Saturday in late July. It kinda looked like this:
            Week One
            T1 vs. T8, T2 vs. T7, T3 vs. T6, T4 vs. T5
            Week Two
            T1 vs. T7, T2 vs. T8, T3 vs. T5, T4 vs. T6
            Week Three
            T1 vs. T6, T2 vs. T5, T3 vs. T7, T4 vs. T8
            Week Four
            T1 vs. T5, T2 vs. T6, T3 vs. T8, T4 vs. T7
            Week Five
            T1 vs. T4, T2 vs. T3, T5 vs. T6, T7 vs. T8
            Week Six
            T1 vs. T3, T2 vs. T4, T5 vs. T7, T6 vs. T8
            Week Seven
            T1 vs. T2, T3 vs. T4, T6 vs. T7, T5 vs. T8

            Below that was the listing of teams, organized alphabetically by sponsor. Also, the color of their jerseys was given.

            T1 -  Green – American Exchange Bank (Wild Things)
            T2 – Light Blue – East Central Electric (Roadrunners) 
T3 – White – Morgan’s Bakery (Dalmatians)
            T4 – Orange – Holden’s Drive-In (Mustangs)
T5 – Black – Shurden-Jackson Funeral Home (Falcons)
            T6 – Red – Shuttle Stop (Avengers)
            T7 – Yellow – Southern Cross Music & Sound (Panthers)
            T8 – Blue – Wendell’s NAPA (Lasers)   

           
There was also a roster, arranged by age and alphabetical order. (Numbers were inserted later.)
            It looked something like this::

            7 - Abby Colson      (2) Defender
7 - Reese Johnson    (3) Midfielder
7 - Alex Owens        (5) Midfielder
8 - Zoey Chandler    (8) Defender
8 - Travis Colson     (6) Goalie
8 - Ashton Owens    (4) Midfielder
            8 - Connor Reheard (9) Goalie
8 - Bailey Skidgel    (7) Defender
            9 - Wayne Montana (16) Forward
9 - Justin Noah         (12) Forward
9 - Kelsey Patrick    (10) Forward
9 - David Ward        (11) Midfielder

I guess it seemed like a good way to spend summer vacation. I’m not sure. I’d known Trent for a while, we played on the same soccer team when we were little, called the Panthers. It had been a while since we’d hung out, he suggested we should coach a soccer team in the summer park league, thought it could be an interesting experience. Well…it was that. Fun, but a headache.
We’d just finished our sophomore year at Hawkins State, for the most part done with gen eds and beginning our major courses. (I’m a computer-science major, he’s going for a degree in Business and Management.) My sister Chrissy heard about our idea, and she wanted to help us out. “It’s a co-ed league now, guys. You’re gonna need a girl to help with the gender gap.” She’d just graduated from Redfield High, was set to head to Mountain College in fall.
So it was kind of obvious what we’d call the team – I mean, it was very cat-powered. Two Bobcats and a Leopard-to-be, with roots on the Panthers soccer team. It was a no-brainer, really; there’d be a new group of Panther cubs running around the jungles of Lawson County Park and the YMCA gym. Some of the other teams were named by coaches, the Mustangs and Falcons for sure, but most of them let their teams vote on their team names.
This isn’t coming out very well. But, then again, English isn’t exactly my best subject, never been able to write essays that well. I’ll get somebody to clean it up before I show people. Anyway, so that was how our Southern Cross Music & Sound Panthers got their nickname.

I’m not really sure who was more nervous that first night of practice: the coaches or the parents. The kids sure weren’t. They were examining each other, curious to see who they’d be playing with. A few already knew each other, and there was a couple sets of siblings. There were about four or five mothers sitting in the stands, and two agitated-looking men. There was this flash of blonde braids scampering every whichaway, another girl explained to her nervous-looking brother something probably encouraging. This athletic-looking brunette girl and an extremely tall kid passed a ball back and forth, another older kid joined their game, turning it into Keepaway.
“Okay…we’ve got everybody here? Ten, eleven, twelve – um,” (Trent looked at his roster) “Yep, looks like everyone’s here. Well, anyway, hey guys.” There were a few snickers and shy smiles. “I’m Trent Harrington, that’s Ryan Long, and we’ll be your coaches.” Chrissy coughed. “Oh, right. That’s Ryan’s sister Chrissy, she’s the assistant coach. Anybody have any questions?”
A small kid with wild hair raised his hand nervously. “Yeah?” Trent prodded. “Have you guys ever coached soccer before?”
I beat Trent to the reply. “Nope. But we have played it. We’re just here over the summer from college, thought it’d be a cool adventure. How many of you all have played soccer?”
“Where you goin’ to college?” the tall kid asked.
            “They go to Hawkins State, I’ll be going to Mountain College in Missouri in August,” Chrissy said.
            “D’you mean have we played organized soccer before, or have we played it at all anyplace?” the encourager wanted this point clarified. She had extremely bright blue eyes and a face full of freckles.
“Organized, I think, but I guess at all,” Trent looked confused.
There were about eight hands raised. “All right, that works,” I grinned.
“We’ll have to teach some of you how to play, probably, but that’s part of the game. But first we gotta know who our players are. Let’s see…” (I looked at my roster) Zoey Chandler?” The energetic blonde girl shot up from her sitting position. “That’s me.”
“Ashton Owens?” Blue-eyed Encouragement nodded and grinned. “And this is my brother Alex.” Alex waved tentatively.
“Justin Noah?” The giraffe looked expectant. “Me.”
“Wayne Montana.” “Yeah.” I did a double take. “Wayne Montana??” He rolled his eyes. “Yeah…” “Hmm, okay…” I continued.
“Kelsey Patrick.” “That’d be me,” the brunette answered, anxious to get this practice started.
“I keep thinking ‘Kate’ when I see you…Kelsey, right?” Trent asked. “Yeah. I’ve been called a lot of names, but why Kate?” “The Big Green.” She laughed. “That works!”
“I’m David,” the third guy who’d been kicking it around with Justin and Kelsey said quietly. “David Ward?” “Uh-huh.”
“Colson…there’s two of you. Abby and Travis?” “Right. I’m Travis, and this is my little sister Abby.” “I Abby. Want pway ball?” “That’d be really fun, Abby,” Chrissy knelt down to say hello to the tiny round munchkin. “I’m Chrissy, I like your pigtails.” Huge smile. “Thanks!”
“Neither of us have ever played real soccer before, so we prob’ly won’t be too good. We’ve just kicked it around in the backyard with the dogs.” Travis explained. “That’s okay, we’ll find you guys a spot somewhere,” my sis answered breezily.
Reese Johnson turned out to be a short kid who looked petrified of everything, and Bailey Skidgel was having trouble talking through his missing front teeth. Connor Reheard (“Reared”, not “Ree-heard”) was the one I’d tagged as Questions in my margin jots of first impressions.
We ran through some shooting drills that first day, switching off on goalie every so often. Most of the kids needed some help. Travis was a little unsteady on his feet, tended to flop down easily, so he made a pretty decent goalie. He seemed to like it, too. Questions, er, I mean Connor, was extremely jumpy, and could reach the high balls Travis had no chance at. So we at least found out who our goalies were. Justin, Wayne and Kelsey were downright dangerous when they had possession of the ball. That was about all we found out skill-wise that first practice. We had three before the season started, and then about one a week after that.
Trent and Chrissy introduced themselves to Mrs. Colson, whose name was Heather. “Um....I guess you probably noticed Trav and Abby aren’t exactly…as talented as the other kids,” she hesitated. “Yeah, is there something wrong with them?” Chrissy gave Trent a scathing look. “Yes, we noticed it’ll be a bit more of a challenge for them, but hopefully we can teach them how to play and they can hopefully have a good time.”
“Thanks.” Heather smiled. “Travis has spina bifida, which means some of his nerves are fused together, can’t feel his feet most of the time. Abby is a Down’s kid,” “Me?” “Yes, you. That means you’re extra special!” Chrissy has a way with little kids.
“I think if you can just get her to run around with the other kids, she’d have a great time. Not sure how much of the actual rules she might understand.” “Okay…” Trent nodded, meaning to Google these conditions later.
I was talking with Ashton and Alex’s mom Tammy. She was just as friendly and easy-going as her daughter, she assured me that once Alex got used to new surroundings he was a great kid. “Is there anything I can help with? Bringing snacks or anything after the games?”
            I hadn’t even thought of things like that. “That’d be fantastic, they’d probably love that. You really wouldn’t mind?” “Course not! That’s why I asked.”
            Kelsey’s and Zoey’s moms were discussing photography when I said hello. “Is it all right if we bring our cameras and set them up on tripods on the sidelines?” “I guess so, as long as it was far enough away off the field.” “Great, thanks! So, Sarah, did you say that you use a Nikon D3100, or a Canon Rebel T5i?...”    
                       
            So for a first practice it went well, we began to get a rough idea of skill levels, seeing maybe who could play beside who without tearing their heads off.
            The second practice it was HOT weather. Like, seriously way too hot. After a quick huddle, we decided just to have them work on passing drills and defense, then call it a day. Abby was a grouch, she didn’t want to do any of the drills, really, and just stood by her mom and watched. David and Ashton were amazingly accurate passers, able to stop the ball dead in its tracks and then shift it over to whichever teammate was open. “Midfielders?” Trent asked. “Definitely.”
            Bailey and Zoey were dogging each player like mirrors, poking at the ball forever before wrestling it away. They seemed to hit it off pretty well, too. “Defenders.” “Oh yeah.” Wayne sent passes incredibly hard and high, terrifying most of his receivers. “Could you dial it down a bit?” Trent asked with a touch of sarcasm. Wayne looked down. “Sorry. It’s just…uh…well,” he jerked his head towards the sideline, where his dad had been hollering unsolicited advice all night. “Gotcha. Yeah, I’ll try…to…talk to him.” “Wouldn’t do any good.” “I’m your coach, I kinda figured on running into something like this.” “Try living with it.”
            “So we were watching this Cardinals game the other night on TV, they were playing the Reds, down by two in the ninth inning. Bases loaded, two outs, batter hits a grounder to third, throws to first. The first baseman’s shoe was off the bag, but the umpire called him out. It was frustrating,” Justin was saying. “Wonder when we’re gonna get our jerseys?” Conner asked nobody in particular. “They should be in by our next practice,” Chrissy answered. “They’ll be yellow, right?” Alex asked. “Uh-huh, that’s right.”
            “Uh…Ryan?” David sounded unsure of himself, like when people are going to ask for a favor. “Yeah?” “I was wondering…could I get a ride home? Dad’s working late tonight, so…”
“I guess so, sure. Is it all right with your mom? I mean, how’d you get over here tonight?” He winced. I’d apparently touched a sore nerve. “Ah….I came with Ashton and Alex.” He chose to answer only the second question. “Okay.”
We climbed into my white Geo Metro and drove out of the parking lot. “You’ll give directions, right?”
“As best I can. We just moved here not that long ago, haven’t gotten really familiar with the town yet.”
“Where’d you move from?”
“Illinois, near Quincy.”
“You liking Redfield?”
David was looking out the window. “It’s all right, I guess. Kind of hard getting to know people, though.”
“Sorry. Sometimes it takes a while.”
“Yeah…the Owenses live a couple blocks down, they seem friendly.”
“They do. Maybe you guys could hang out or something.”
“Yeah.”
“Any siblings or anything?”
“Yeahh…brother and sister, they’re living with Mom.”
“Ah,” I said, unsure of what to say.
“Got divorced about seven months ago, we moved here two months ago.”
“I see,” I paused. “So…what’d you like to do? You know, when there isn’t school or anything.”
“Well….I used to play hockey. And I like to draw.”
“I’ve never been very good at drawing. Hockey seems like fun to play. I can’t hardly skate, though.”
He sort of grinned. “It isn’t that hard. Kind of like soccer, but on ice.”
“And with a lot more padding.”
“For sure. Wore No. 11 for my team, we were the Wildcats.”
“That’s a cool name.”
“Yeah, and my favorite number.”
            “Favorite number, huh?” I had an idea… "

Friday, August 8, 2014

Guardians of the Galaxy

        As Coulson told Skye(rather angrily, but that's not important here) when the team went to the Hub on Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., "We can go off-book because there IS a book." Which is basically what Marvel did in introducing us to the Guardians of the Galaxy. Mom, Courtney and I went to Tulsa Wednesday night to go see it.
     There was an interesting take on the movie in this PluggedIn blog post I read last week.
     It's a little bit of Marvel, dash of The A-Team, a touch each of Firefly and The Princess Bride,with a whole bunch of Star Wars, some Star Trek and quite a bit of its own creature. And it's hilarious. Also rather profane and almost all the main characters are jerks(but that's a necessary plot point and it's totally worth it). And there's a ton of pop-culture references thrown in there randomly, which is awesome. And it all adds up into (currently) one of the top-three highest-earning MCU films ever made. 

     A boy named Peter Quill is listening to his Walkman in a hospital hallway in 1988, where his mother is dying of cancer. Before she dies, the woman gives Peter a present that she tells him to open when she's gone, which is stuffed into his backpack. Wild with grief and anger, Peter sprints outside and collapses to the dewy grass exhausted. That's when he's kidnapped by a band of space pirates called the Ravagers. (Yes, this is truly the first scene.)
     Twenty-six years later on the abandoned planet Morag, Quill, now calling himself "Star-Lord", plays with some T. rex-kangaroo rats and jams out to his Walkman before swiping this orb. That's when he's intercepted by Korath(the Dark Elf from The Dark World!) and several Chitauri(fromThe Avengers, that One-Shot "Item 47" and an episode of Agents). There's a great snarky line here: "Who are you?" "Star-Lord." (Korath looks confused.) "...Who?" "Star-Lord, man! Y'know, the legendary outlaw?" (Korath shakes his head.) Quill escapes from Korath in his ship, the Milano, and runs out on Yondu the Ravager chief, having a buyer for himself on the planet Xandar.
     Now with a bounty on his head, and someone named Ronan involved, Quill's buyer backs out. An assassin named Gamora swipes the orb away from him, and while they fighting/chasing each other, the bounty hunters  Rocket Raccoon and Groot the tree-thing are chasing Quill. A spectacularly-filmed scene follows, ending with all four getting arrested by the Nova Corps(the planet's police force/military) and taken to the Kyln, a high-security prison.
     Almost all the inmates of this prison want to kill Gamora, since her adopted father is Thanos(Bin-Laden in space, kinda), including a revenge-minded massive warrior named Drax. Drax tries to murder Gamora, but a quick-talking Quill saves her, pointing out that Drax needs her alive in order to kill Ronan(who murdered Drax's family). Gamora betrayed Ronan because he is working with Thanos and planning to destroy entire planets if he possesses it.
     Quote break: Quill, trying to convince Drax to spare Gamora, ends his plea with a slashing-throat gesture. Drax - "Why would I put my finger on his throat?" Also, a little later on: Rocket - "...his people are super literal, metaphors go over his head." Drax - "Nothing goes over my head. My reflexes are too fast, I would catch it."
     The three of them, with Rocket and Groot, plan(improvise) and execute an escape, reclaiming the orb on their way out to meet with Gamora's contact, The Collector, on the mining station Knowhere. The Collector opens the orb, which everyone knows is valuable without knowing exactly why(a Maltese Falcon, in a way) and explains that it contains an Infinity Stone, and then explaining why that's so important. (Basically, if you have all six and set them into a glove called the Infinity Gauntlet, then you earn power above all imagination and become unstoppable. The Tesseract and the Aether are two of the other five.) Meanwhile, a drunk Drax summons Ronan to finally kill him. They pummel each other. The Collector's assistant is sick of being his slave, so she blows up his collection with the Inifnity Stone, committing suicide in the process. The group kind of runs every-being-for-itself out of there. Quill and Gamora are chased by her adopted sister Nebula(also working for Ronan), who blows up Gamora's ship and leaves her to freeze in space's vacuum. Ronan almost succeeds in murdering Drax, but Groot pulls him from drowning, and Rocket meets up with them. Quill saves Gamora's life and they're rescued by Yondu and the Ravagers. (Love the way Quill brags on himself excitedly right there. "I found something inside of me, something incredibly heroic!") Ronan gets away with the orb in his ship The Dark Aster. Rocket, Groot and Drax think that Yondu kidnapped Quill and Gamora, so they set out impulsively to rescue them(without thinking it through much). ("You tried to save us by THREATENING TO BLOW US UP?!" "Well.....yeah. It worked, didn't it?" "Yeah! But...how would that even have worked?!")
     Quill gives a rousing inspirational speech, and then the five of them argue for a while about what to do next, finally settling on re-reclaiming the orb from Ronan's clutches, since he's on his way to destroy Xandar. This also kind of means certain death, but if they succeed he won't be able to destroy the galaxy. So, that's a plus. (Rocket - "Why would you want to save the galaxy?" Quill - "Because I'm one of the idiots who lives in it!" And during the council scene: Quill - "I have a plan." Rocket argues with everyone that that is a phrase of his own creation. Quill - "I have part of a plan." Drax - "What percentage of a plan do you have?" Pause for more argument. Rocket - "So, what percentage?" Quill - "I don't know....Twelve percent?" More argument over whether that's a plan. Gamora - "That's barely a concept." Groot - "I am Groot." Rocket - "So what, 'it's better than eleven percent'?" Quill to Groot - "Thank you." It's a great scene.) They get Yondu to agree to this plan by saying they'll give him the orb once Ronan is defeated.
     A massive space-battle begins once inside Xandar's orbit, where the ragtag group of allies breaches The Dark Aster, Yondu wipes out a bunch of Chitauri on the ground with his whistle-arrow, the Nova Corps' ships create this incredibly-awesome force field, and the Ravagers defend from ground-level while the city is being evacuated. Drax kills Korath("Finger on throat means "death". Metaphor." Quill - "Eh....close enough.")
     The energy wall is eventually breached and The Dark Aster looms down and crashes into the city. Rocket also wrecks Quill's ship somewhere in there. It seems like everyone will die in the wreck, but Groot perishes protecting his friends. And Quill does (yet another) extraordinary thing:He starts dancing. Ronan - "What are you doing?" "I challenge you do a dance-off." "What are you doing?" "I'm distracting you!" And then Rocket and Drax pile into Ronan with the MacGyvered laser cannon. It's wonderful. The remaining Guardians of the Galaxy together destroy Ronan and Nebula escapes, while the grateful Nova Corps expunges their criminal records and rebuilds the Milano.The Nova Corps is given the orb while Yondu is given a trick replica. An officer named Rhomann Dey, in explaining all this as they leave, reminds them not to do anything else illegal. Drax - "Supposing someone angered me and I wished to remove his spine?" Dey - "Yeah...That, um - That would be called murder, and that is one of the worst - Yeah. Please don't do that." Quill promises to keep an eye on things.
     The Guardians of the Galaxy, with a sapling grafted from Groot, set out on their next adventure. Gamora - "What happens next?" Star-Lord - "Who knows? Something good? Something bad? A little of both?" "We'll follow your lead, Star-Lord." "All right, then. A little of both!"
     He then finally opens the present his mother gave him as she was dying; a second cassette mixtape, and pops it in his stereo.   

     Quill's constant pop-culture references are awesome. He named his ship after his childhood celebrity crush, Who's The Boss? star Alyssa Milano, he says the Infinity Stone has a real Maltese Falcon, Ark of the Covenant-like vibe, his reference to an Earth-legend called Footloose(which leads to Gamora shouting excitedly while doing something heroic, "We're just like Kevin Bacon!"), how Earth is home to many legendary outlaws like Billy the Kid, Jesse James and John Stamos(who he'd know as Jesse from Full House),  calling a Chitauri "Ninja Turtle", Rocket "Ranger Rick" at one point and Groot "The Giving Tree" (he meant it sarcastic, but that's actually a really great description of Groot's character).
     Groot is simple, yes. But also unselfish and serving, almost parental at times. And they need somebody like that. Rocket's the most brashly money-hungry and me-against-the-world. But he was experimented on and is now half-machine. So his anger and misery is totally understandable. And his biting commentary throughout is terrific. Gamora did some terrible, awful, horrendous things, yes. But that was in the past, and she's learning how to atone for those errors somewhat by the end. Drax is motivated solely by his desire to avenge his family's murders(like a Fezzik-sized Inigo), but comes to realize there's more out there in the galaxy to live for than just vengeance. And Quill is this kind of wisecracking minor scoundrel just trying to survive(those make the best characters) who comes to find himself the leader of this outfit, and therefore charged with keeping things in some semblance of control.

     Together, the Guardians of the Galaxy are a group of freewheeling by-necessity loners that don't really care what the rest of the galaxy thinks of them, who come to form a sort of family. Every family has their issues, and they're no exception. But like that PluggedIn post said, in a way they remind us of what our jobs as Christians in the church ought to look like. Paul talks in that different roles passage in 1 Corinthians 12 about our jobs and abilities might not all be the same, but they're all just as important and ought to be honored the same, since together they add up to a much greater purpose. "The church," says the article, "can be a little messy. It's made of less-than-perfect folks. But when its' people are united in a common cause, the result can be both beautiful and powerful." Aunt May, in Spider-Man 2, says she believes there's a hero inside all of us. And in Spider-Man 3,Peter Parker reminds us that "It's our choices that make us who we are, and we can always choose to do what's right."
     The Guardians aren't the greatest role models ever, but they'll just do their own thing in their own klutzy way, and that sure is entertaining. The "something bad, something good" quote seems to sum up Marvel's attitude in making this thing, echoing Stan Lee's mindset behind creating the Fantastic Four. "We're making something that we enjoy and would want to see. If it flops, doesn't matter for the company. If it works, there's a whole new area that we can play with." It's a fast-moving, fast-talking, snark-filled, pop-culture-peppered wild adventure. And if you haven't seen it yet, you should. Like, as soon as possible. 

Monday, August 4, 2014

Two For The Treasure - Part Three

      Ashland and Wesley now bring you the exciting conclusion of Two For the Treasure. Can they escape from Von Schlange? Can anyone find the mask? Is it really that important? Will Diana and Jason finish this story without killing each other? To find out, scroll your mouse downward along the page....

"I shook the last drops of water from the canteen into my mouth. I was parched. Stuffing the now-empty canteen back into my pack, I sat back on my heels. If this tunnel continued, we would have to turn back around seeking water outside the cave. If we didn’t, we’d be running a huge risk of death by dehydration. The worst I had to deal with at the moment was a bad case of morning breath and my hair was a tangled dirty mess, but I knew that Jason was suffering from worse. I hoped Von Schlange was suffering, too, but wouldn’t bet on it.
I rose from my sitting position relatively rested from the full day of relaxation and picked up the backpack. I met up with Jason and the three of us continued walking. And walking. Followed by more walking.
An hour or so had passed when I realized that something in our environment was way off. I wracked my brain. Finally, it hit me.
“WATER!” I exclaimed. “Guys, there’s water here!” I pointed to the walls, where the rocks were shining with little droplets of water. Even the ceiling dribbled water onto the floor beneath us.
Jason waved the beam of light from his flashlight in front of us as we started cautiously jogging forward. A very faint, almost intangible sound tickled my ears. I paused, straining to pick out what that sound was. I heard it again, and could get out the words “Running water up ahead,” before I started sprinting. I bounced off an unusually large stalagmite rising from the ground before slowing my pace. Both Jason and Von Schlange were right behind me, and I know all we noticed the muted roar of moving water and the cooling temperature.
We picked our way through a mass of stalagmites, trying our best to hurry. The rushing-water sound grew continually louder. Streams began running down small channels on both sides of the tunnel. The farther we went, the larger the waterways became until they were a full three feet across and perhaps eighteen inches deep .The crystal-clear water ran swiftly, picking up speed, the more the path declined. From somewhere up ahead there was the slightest gleam of natural sunlight.
“Stop!” Jason grabbed my arm and yanked me backwards, and not a moment too soon. I jerked back with a shout, seeing for the first time a massive gorge, in which the swirling black water  was churning and frothing. I had nearly gone over, and the terrible thought of drowning in the waters’ icy depths almost made me sick to my stomach. Adrenaline surged through me; I felt my entire body tense involuntarily, my heart raced against my ribs, and I felt an almost painful tingle in my fingertips and toes.
I sat back down heavily on the rocky floor and brought my knees up to my forehead. My mind was completely blank, wiped clean by this new brush with death. I sensed Jason kneeling in front of me, and he extended a canteen. It was filled to the brim with delicious water. At least, I thought it was delicious, but I’m not sure, since I’ve always wondered if water actually had a taste. Of course I drained at least half the contents before giving it back to him and rubbing shaking hands across my face.
“Thanks,” I said.
“You’re welcome.” He took a few swallows. “You know, this is probably some of the best water I’ve ever had. Does water have a taste, or is that just me?”
I could only laugh and shake my head. With my thirst sated, and the kick of adrenaline fading away, I stood gazing at the lip of the precipice with my flashlight.
“How far down do you think it is?”
“Hard to tell. Maybe twenty, thirty feet.”
“Deep enough to be dangerous. I do believe water can have a taste; this reminds me of the water from the well on my grandparent’s farm.” Von Schlange commented.
“How ‘bout the water?” I gestured at the chasm. 
“Who knows?” Jason shrugged. “Depends on how long the river’s been there and how fast it’s flowing. Erosion’s definitely a factor.”
I grimaced.
“That would have been a very scary incident, would it not? If you had actually fallen off?” Von Schlange approached us, and I instinctively took a quick step away from him and the cliff.
“It’s a very good thing that Jason was quick enough to grab you. Otherwise, your tumble could have been so very long. And the water – it must be very frigid and dark in there. And, of course, it would be almost certain death.” He laughed at that – an evil, throaty laugh. I backed up some more, right next to Jason, and whispered. “We’ve got to do something.”
He looked at me, brows furrowed in thought. Nodding, he answered, “Of course, but we’ve made it this far. Just wait a little longer. This has to be over soon.”
He looked back at Von Schlange, who was shining his flashlight over the chasm. The beam revealed a familiar sight: More darkness. I observed a slight slump of his shoulders; obviously he was anxious to get across. There didn’t seem to be any apparent way. He turned his back to the yawning blackness and came to join our little group
“I say we just relax and have a nice little meal. In a few hours we can get going again.”
“And where, exactly, do you plan to get going?” asked Jason. “There’s no way.”
“There is just no obvious way across. Obviously whoever carved these tunnels and those canals were intelligent and could have found a way to cross. It’s elementary, as your Sherlock Holmes would have said.”
I rolled my eyes. “Seriously?” I thought.
“Actually he was English. Lived in the middle of London. Y’know, 221 Baker Street?” Jason dryly dropped in.
“Details, details…” Von Schlange waved a hand dismissively.
“Whatever. Let’s just eat now, ‘kay?” Jason rummaged around in his backpack. I couldn’t believe my eyes when he pulled out a can of tuna. That was my favorite food, and I couldn’t believe my eyes. He looked at me, gave a sly smile, and pulled out his pocketknife. He sawed the lid off and pulled out two plastic spoons from a zip-lock baggie. The little baggie made me smile, and I remembered my secret stash. I dug to the very bottom of my pack, and in a secret pocket was a bag of mixed candy and another with mixed nuts.
“This is about all I’ve got,” I said. “Split it fifty-fifty?”
“You bet,” he nodded.
So now we’re taking our time eating, alternating spoonfuls of tuna with a couple of peanuts and caramels. I’ll tuck the almost-empty foodstuffs back into my back as soon as we’re finished. Von Schlange is over on his side of the tunnel eating sardines, crackers, and I think a brownie. Where’d he get that, I wonder.
Something feels off. Maybe my body just can’t handle real food/water with all the excitement and action of the past week. I don’t know. So I’ve just been working on recapping our most recent adventures. This Western author from the 50’s, Louis L’Amour, once said something interesting: “Adventure is just a romantic name for trouble.” Why did that quote come to mind? I suppose he was right in a way. Adventures make life worthwhile; so much more exciting. They’re sometimes unpleasant to deal with in the moment, but…I really should stop now, since I’m in danger of getting way too sentimental. Well, guess we’ll see how this quest ends….being kidnapped certainly wasn’t on the agenda when this thing started.

(Small item from the Associated Press, appearing in newspapers across the world.)
“A body was discovered by two banana farmers in a northern Peruvian river last week. It is believed to be that of Dorothy Diana Jones, a young American archaeologist. She perished by drowning while on a South American expedition, according to her employers. Miss Jones was the granddaughter of Henry “Indiana” Jones, the noted Marshall College archaeology professor who later served in World War II.”

I couldn’t help smiling a little at reading that, humble as an obituary as it was. But we don’t usually make the news; archaeology’s not that flashy of a career. It’s slightly more exciting than accountant and somewhat less than librarian. And she wasn’t really related to Indy at all; everyone just assumed it. But she didn’t mind. And it wasn’t her fault that her grandpa was named Hank, or that her name happened to be convenient in her chosen profession. It opened a lot of doors for her. True, some of those were quite dangerous, but – well, she knew that. I was one of the few close friends who knew that secret. And I think I was the only person she worked with who knew. 
She must have hidden her journal in my pack just after we’d finished eating. Von Schlange left his lunch trash on the tunnel floor as he straightened his satchel and moved briskly around the river’s edge. “There has to be a way!” he shouted, angry.
Diana got up and stood next to me, her expression a thoughtful frown. “Something’s not right.”
Von Schlange was frantically pacing back and forth along the far wall. He had his pale eyelids shut and his fang-like fingers were pressed deeply into his creased forehead. 
“I can’t explain it, Jason. Something is off. It’s just a feeling I have.”
“Like what?” I was puzzled.
Her mouth opened to form the syllables, but Von Schlange crowed out, “I have found it! Come, quickly!” He whipped out his pistol and motioned us to come hither. We shuffled forward; Herr Viper spoke in rapid tones.
“Here…Here is a ledge. It leads around the outside of this tunnel. I can barely make out a bridge of some sort a little farther down.” He gestured for us to go out onto that ledge.
“….I don’t think that’s such a good idea,” I countered, examining the passage.
“Go now, or I shoot.” He pointed the gun straight at Diana’s heart.
“I’ll go, I’ll go. That isn’t necessary, honest.”
I shuffled along the ledge, making my way across the eight-inch wide surface. It was slippery, and the heels of my mud-crusted boots were left precariously hanging over. I finally shuffled my way over, and I was left standing alone by the seriously decayed rope bridge. It struck me as odd how fitting it was to come across – it was just like the movies. Real life is never like the movies, and that’s what made this bridge even more daunting. The     creepy black pool was fed on one side by a river, which seemed to be a long way down. On the other side of the river it was hard to tell what sort of terrain there was, but it looked stable enough. And from somewhere on that side there was a bit of natural sunlight, poking down from the outside world.  
“All right, I’m here! Now what?” I examined the bridge, taking note of the unraveling fibers and missing boards. I stepped experimentally on the first board. It was completely rotten, as I suspected, and gave a loud CRr—aaackkk. It easily split in half and then plunged down into the churning water below. It might have won the silver medal in the diving competition of the Rotten Wooden Structures Olympics, if there was such a thing.
“Jason!” Diana yelled. “Can you hear me? Are you okay?” Her voice was tinged with fear. I did wonder, though, why she kept asking me that.
“I’m fine, Di! It’s just this bridge. It’s no good! The ropes and boards and everything are too rotten! We’ll have to find some other way.”
“NO!” Von Schlange violently grabbed Diana’s arm and threw her at the ledge. She screamed as she started to slide down the muddy wall. Frantically, she reached up and grabbed hold of the edge of the ledge. She was left to hang there perilously, until she mustered enough strength to pull herself high enough to hook a foot around the corner of the cave wall. She groaned as her ankle supported most of her weight. I almost puked.  
“Jason!” she yelled. “I could really use some help. Now, please!” She turned her face away from the deep valley, and hid it in the crook of her elbow.
I went to help her and Von Schlange shot the gun into the air. Diana jumped, and her muscles trembled as she tried to keep her balance.  
“Do not move, American!” Von Schlange warned. He folded his arms and leaned up against the wall, right above Diana’s foothold.
             “Diana, listen to me.” I say, “I can’t help you. You are going to have to help yourself. You can do it! You are strong! You aren’t a quitter, and you aren’t going to become one now. You can do it! Come on!”
Slowly, with muffled grunts, gasps for air, and arms shaking from fatigue, she reached high to find handholds in the rocky wall. Sometimes using only the tips of her fingers, she hauled herself into a standing position on the ledge.
I released a long-held breath, realizing I was slightly light-headed.
“You listen to me, fools,” warned Von Schlange, once Diana regained her footing. His tone held a lethal amount of venom. “You will both cross that bridge and I will be right behind you. We are going to cross this way. If I hear a single word out of any of you, I will shoot you. Do you understand?” He looked at Diana. I was calculating how many bullets he might have left. At our silence, he looked angrier still. “I said, do you understand? You may answer me this.”
“Yes, I understand,” she replied.
“Then get going.”
Von Schlange signaled for her to start towards the bridge. She shuffled along slowly, her gaze not wavering from mine. I held out my hand, and she grasped it tightly. I grinned bravely, trying to cheer her up, and she merely stared back, eyes wide and fearful. 
“Look,” she mouthed, motioning her with her eyes to some spot to my right and just past the bridge. I saw the mask then, too – hanging in an alcove on the other side of the bank. Somewhat excited by our find, Diana and I stepped out onto the bridge with Von Schlange little behind us. He was still along the widening bit between the ledge and the bridge.
We were almost to the other side of the bridge and I actually thought we would make it!  But just like in the movies, the bridge snapped when we’d gotten only a few steps from solid ground. What happened next was some mixture of true and warped reality. All moments of crisis are like that, really. You only get some idea of what happened while thinking through the sequence of events afterwards.
I really don’t want to have to think about what happened. But I have to. Because this tale wouldn’t be complete without its ending. It’s just….really hard. Really hard.
The bridge was falling apart piece by piece, as we were hanging in mid-air. All we could was try to hang on as best we could. Our hands slipped from their grips, but we would find new ones. She clung to a thin rope; I was holding on to one of the splintery half-rotted slats. Diana’s face was at about my knee level.
I looked down, “Are you okay?”
She nodded upward impatiently, towards the prize we’d gotten sucked into this adventure for. “Go up!” she ordered. I ignored her command, extending a hand.
            “Not without you with me. Come on!”
“Fine, let’s just get out of here.” She reached up to grab my wrist; I gripped hers. I tried to tow her up to me, but the bridge remnants were damp with river-mists. Parts of the bridge were snapping and plummeting into the water, and a chunk of earth came tumbling down towards Diana. She ducked out of the way, but lost her grip on her frayed rope. We swung in midair as her grip on mine loosened.
“Don’t you let go of me!” I yelled down to her. The echoes of the water down in the canyon nearly drowned out my words.    
She looked up at me, her blue eyes filled with dread; her hair undone and whipping around her face.
I vaguely remember Von Schlange being stuck on the other side of the canyon. He was howling German curses and aiming and re-aiming his gun at us. Diana saw him too when she tilted her head back to look at him. 
When her eyes met mine again she had a small spark in them; the fear was still there, but now there was something else also.
“I need your knife!” Diana yelled above the roar. I motioned down to the sheath where I kept my throwing knife at my shin. She snatched the knife out and adjusted her hold on my wrist, with her full weight on her left shoulder.
Diana hurled the knife towards Von Schlange, her timing on our swinging and on her release was off; it missed and skipped off the limestone, harmlessly grazing his khakis. He skipped away in agitation from the unexpected brush. She wound up again with her own knife in hand. It needed to be good; this was our last shot.  I lost track of it from my position, but it seemed like the knife was spinning blade over handle, tilting like a Frisbee as it went from spinning vertically then to the right as it finished coming in almost flat. The point stuck cleanly through the shoulder of his coat, sinking deep into the flesh near Von Schlange’s collarbone. He yowled in pain and dropped the gun. 
But not before he fired it one last time.
The bullet caught her in her exposed left side. She screamed in agony, and clutched at her side.
I yelled her name. “Di!”
A moment later her head tipped up and she looked at me with tears streaming down her face. Her hold on my arm loosened, and she slipped a little.
A desperate “NO!” tore from my throat. “You have to hold on Di! I’ll get us out.”
She shook her head weakly. “It’s no use,” she moaned. “It’s too late.”
I will never forget her gaze in that frozen second. She knew what was coming… And she was afraid.
“Please, be brave for me.” Her voice caught in a sob as she looked down into the blackness. Her eyes shot up to mine again. “You are always brave for me. Be brave for me one more time.”
“Oh, Di. Don’t do this, please!” I pleaded with her.
We suddenly dropped a foot as a main tether snapped in two. Diana cried out in pain. If we stayed like this much longer, then it would be the end of both of us.
“Jason.”
“No! No!” I searched frantically to find something, anything, to save us. And there was nothing.
“Di, I’m sorry. So, so sorry.” I met her stare one more time.
Eyes still wide, still scared, she smiled at me. It was just a little smile- but a comfort to me just the same.
“S’okay. Just be brave.”
And then she let go; she let go so suddenly she just dropped out of my reach.  
She started falling…
and falling…
and falling…
Time stopped. Her eyes still locked with mine, and her hand still reached up to mine. She seemed to just float, with her hair spilling around her, and a crimson stain fanning from her side as the darkness finally engulfed her.
I never heard the splash. It’s a mercy really. It makes it seem like she is still floating- like she’s not dead.
To relive this, write it all down…this is taking an eternity. It makes it seem so….real. Thought I’d come to dealing with everything. But times like this - it’s unbearable. It’s why I can’t sleep at night.
A loud crack of the pistol brings me back to the story. Von Schlange had found the pistol he dropped, and had shot one of the slats I was hanging by. A shard pierced my left calf. I was climbing up to the ledge while he was waving his gun and motioning at me; never mind the knife sticking out from his shoulder and rendering his left arm mostly unusable. His last shot came in just as I was hauling myself up onto the rock from my personal Cliff of Insanity. I rolled away from the projectile and made my way over to the mask. Sitting up, I dug out the wood-shard from my ankle, wincing at the sharp pain. I wrapped it with an extra bandage from my bag, tied it tightly, and then I began making my way to the mask.
It seemed way too easy to find. In a little alcove there was a shelf carved out of the wall. This is where I found Medusa’s mask, along with several common theater masks, a handful both of the grotesque Tragedy and the equally exaggerated Comedy.  I looked around for the beam of light I saw earlier. That light seemed closer, probably wouldn’t be but about twenty minutes’ hike to find where it came from. There appeared to be a sort of flat space that was followed by a gradual incline; a kind of rough theater set up.
“All the world’s a stage/And all men and women merely players/They have their exits and entrances/And one man plays in his time many parts…” I quoted from Jacques’ monologue in As You Like It. I bowed my head and paused for a time. 
I then took a good look at the mask itself. It was formed of some type of hardened clay-like material, the Gorgon’s face was strange; some mixture of beauty and awfulness. It was just wrong enough to fall neatly into neither category, which made it even more disconcerting. The snakes of her hair were well-created and detailed, considering their time of sculpting. I could hear Von Schlange’s complaints and threats from the other side of the river. I picked up the mask and went back to the cliff. We stared at each other over the river, silence speaking volumes.
“You want it?” I held the mask aloft. My voice was raised louder than necessary from shock and anger. Herr Viper scowled at me. “Then fetch.” I threw the relic out into the middle of the huge crevice where gravity took it and yanked it downwards.
“It’s not worth it.” I turned and walked away.

I followed the light out of the cave and   hitchhiked my way through Peru, making my way back to the home base. I was rolling along on some washed-out mountain highway in the trailer of a U-Haul when I came across Diana’s journal and an old churro. I munched on the stale pastry, staring at the notebook. It had gotten shaken down to the bottom of my pack, hidden among the necessary bits and pieces needed to survive a life like I led. I opened up the cover and flipped through, noting a blank two-thirds of the way through the book. I kept flipping pages, just to confirm that was the end, but I came across a note she’d addressed to me. She explained that she’d hidden the book in my backpack on purpose, knowing I’d find it eventually. And because I’m a curious snoop, read it eventually.
She wanted me to retype the notes relating to this trip and share them with some of her bosses, to see what would happen to her research and the pyramid once the experience got out. And I added some notes of my own to try to give a better picture of the whole thing. So that’s pretty much all there is to tell. Maybe Von Schlange died in there. Somehow I kinda doubt it... he was too slippery and slithery a character. Maybe there’s no moral to this whole thing at all. Or it could be that I haven’t realized what it is yet.   

===================
Jason’s speech was so incredibly, stereotypically melodramatic and American. Just like something from one of their Hollywood films. However, can one expect anything less? He was quite appalled and outraged by Miss Jones’ death. It was satisfying supremely to witness, a price which I thought was well-paid. It was a distress that the mask was so heedlessly thrown into the river, but he instructed me to “fetch”, and when one has money and power, there are many underlings which will eagerly to retrieve the objects of one’s search. It may have been hidden for many years; yes? But ah! It has been discovered, and so it shall be again.
           He then walked away from the place of his friend’s tragic death and most likely escaped from this cave. I ask you, what is so unwelcome about a cave? The dark interiors and cool temperatures have always agreed with me. Very well, then; Jason escaped. I wrenched Diana’s blade out of my flesh and used my jacket to lessen the flow of blood. I then went furiously to think. The narrow ledge we three had been walking upon continued beyond the now decimated bridge; so I began journeying along a previously-untrodden section. By following this path, a pool of water soon became a stream, wherewith slight delay I discovered a natural limestone bridge and proceeded to continue my trip. After this it was a simple task to trace back to the path which Jason traveled and follow it out-of-doors. After that I began my journey to Lima and then back to Munich for recuperative purposes before returning to my home in Mexico City. Jason Curry has made it out alive through three encounters after treasures thus far; I had triumphed in the first, came out slightly ahead in the second and the third was a draw. Except for the fact that Diana is no longer with us. So I am still leading our game. There shall not be a fourth round, if I can help it. And should there be, there my contest with Jason, too, shall close. And Jaeger Von Schlange shall prevail."

 NOTE - THIS IS NOT THE END. Continue scrolling in a downwards direction, please. Thank you! 

"A young woman limped along the roadside. Her left arm was dislocated and her right ankle wasn’t quite functioning properly. Her brown hair was matted and somewhat tangled, besides being pretty messy, like it hadn’t seen a mirror or brush in a long time. Her clothes had seen better days. Her shorts were stained and well-marked by mud, and the ripped long-sleeve plaid shirt only partially covered the sunburns. The strap from this backpack she’d picked up by the river bank was rubbing a splotchy pressure-mark into her neck, as well. At least she had the pack, even if only one strap was working. No telling who it’d belonged to, or how it ended up by the river, but it looked useful and contained some helpful items; a jacket, spare T-shirt and pepper spray, mainly. There were a couple flashlights that seemed to work, too, once she’d let them dry in the sun for a bit. 
A well-used Datsun slowed to a stop. “Mees? Do you…need ride?” The woman frowned in puzzlement. “Not sure where I’m headed, so it doesn’t really matter.” “You come. Very hot day, not good in it – very sick that way.” The woman shrugged and opened the door, scooting a newspaper off the passenger seat. She picked it up listlessly and began studying its contents. She looked at the driver. “This is in English?” He grinned. “Si! Er – how….yes. English I read better more than I speak. Is good practice, why that is here.” He indicated the paper she was holding. “I guess so.” She was staring fixedly on some invisible object, trying to think. That crushing ache in her temples made it difficult. “I am Abel,” the driver introduced himself, pleased to have someone to practice his English with. “You…all right?” The woman appeared to not hear the question or not understand his accent. “Just….trying to think,” she said. “There was something in the paper…a name that sounds familiar.” Abel nodded. There was silence for a time. “My name is…Maggie,” she said.
She examined the backpack’s contents again, more carefully this time. There were about sixty pesos, the flashlights, clothes, and a handful of empty plastic bags. This pack belonged to somebody who really enjoyed jerky, from the writing on the outside. There was a little scrap of journal paper down at the very bottom, wrinkled and creased and not saying much of anything. It looked like maybe a to-do list of some kind, later scribbled on in boredom at some meeting or something. One of the scribbles was a name, “Diana Jones”.
The car pulled into a little village.

Jason opened the door of his apartment. He’d just arrived from a dull, lackluster and rather pointless conference in Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan. Things looked much the same as ever; almost painfully functional and spare in appearance. The desk was full of scholarly-looking articles and books. He paused and leafed through some of them, straightening untidy edges. He wandered into the kitchen and poked around through the shelves, not finding anything interesting to eat and not expecting to. Same kind of thing with the fridge. He was just so incredibly, undeniably empty; it was hard just to get through the day. Most of his time away from work was spent wandering around aimlessly, head down and stepping quickly, giving the impression of having a mission to accomplish. Those hikes didn’t help with anything much, but they did file away the minutes about an hour at a time.
It had been – what? Four, five months? And she was still dropping away…
Not just that, either; although that was certainly something to consider. But what about Von Schlange? It was frustrating enough that scum like him existed, but Von Schlange himself….it was maddening. And he didn’t really care if he was obsessing or not. And he kept talking to himself in third person….which was really weird. Not all the time; only when he was alone – by himself – Which was fairly often. Other people would start to worry if it happened while they were around, so….
“S’okay. Just be brave.”
He turned on the TV and flipped channels without caring what was on, just as background noise. MacGyver used a mirror to disable the laser-field of a security system. Jim Rockford was fast-talking his way to some much-needed information. Some newscaster overanalyzing some event in the Middle East. Jesse and Joey tried to figure out how to change Michelle’s diaper. Some Nicki Minaj music video. That guy who played Stan from Space Jam furiously typing commands into his early 90’s computer. Ty Pennington on an Extreme Home Makeover rerun. At some point, exhausted beyond all reason, he dropped into a fitful sleep.

Sleeping on rocks leaves you really, really stiff when you wake up. And it can be really cold in a cave at night. So it was with some complaining that Diana and I got up and started getting set for the day’s hike. Von Schlange did much more complaining than we did; and we only halfway listened. Our trio clicked away the miles throughout the morning, things went about the same as normal. Diana was frowning in puzzlement, trying to solve a problem. “WATER!” she sprinted blindly towards a strange, dimly-familiar sound. “Guys! There’s water here!” Von Schlange and I looked at each other. One or the other of us shrugged and we raced off as best we could in pursuit.
Nothing else mattered except reaching that goal; other things may have existed. It was that wonderful “in the zone” moment that comes almost solely with competition. And besides, it was merely another in a long string of weird events. We all three kind of needed each other to survive, and right now, the only way that way possible was by finding water. And to do that, we had to keep up with Diana. Von Schlange’s foot hit something that definitely wasn’t rock or dirt or bat-droppings. It was a weird, almost squishy, sound. But right about then Diana crashed headlong into a gigantic stalagmite, so I wasn’t paying too much attention to Herr Viper after that. She seemed to be okay, though. But there was that – “STOP!” That command must have come from my throat, but I didn’t recognize it.             
         I yanked her away from falling into a fatal watery gulf. After that, things are kind of blank. She sat down on the rocks, hugging herself with her knees. I picked up her canteen and filled it, handing it to her. “Thanks,” she said, handing it back.
            “You’re welcome,” I said, taking a drink of my own. “This is some of the best water I’ve ever had. Do you think water has a taste?” I tried to keep my tone conversational, hoping it didn’t betray the fear that came with that dim shape I saw behind us. She sort of giggled and shook her head.
“How deep you think it is?” Now she was staring at the drop-off.
“Probably twenty, thirty feet. It’s hard to tell.”
“Deep enough to be dangerous. I do believe water can have a taste; this is some of the best I have ever drank. It reminds me of times spent at my grandparent’s farm as a child.” Von Schlange said.
That shape was definitely getting closer.
“It’s a very good thing that you did not fall, is it not, Diana? It appears to be quite fatal if such a thing were to happen,” Von Schlange went on, morbidly cheerful. “Why don’t we eat now? I myself am famished, so you two ought better to eat as well.” He began poking around in his pack, pulling out some more sardines, a Little Debbie brownie that had seen better days, and an egg. It wasn’t an ordinary egg, either; that would be bad enough, nasty stuff. It looked wrong-shaped, and almost…leathery. And that eerie knowing feeling of some presence you weren’t expecting suddenly being in the room…
“Diana. Hit the ground, now.” My warning wouldn’t want to come out at first, the words stuck in my larynx. And I’d scrapped all plans of the surprise can of tuna I’d stashed away in my pack. But for some reason I just held on to it, unsure of what to do. There was a muffled wail that was cut off far too sharply; I whirled around and saw a goopy lump where Von Schlange had been, his arm being tossed off to one side by a velociraptor. And there was another one rushing towards Diana….
She looked startled, and shocked, and a little thrilled, realization that dinosaurs still existed hitting her mind. And then she understood what was going to happen – I never saw her lips move, but I heard her voice, saying bitterly, “So this is what happens when I trust you enough to ask for help, Jason.”
The velociraptor tore into her flesh in slow motion, ripping out chunk after chunk of muscle tissue and her internal organs being shredded away, blood spraying everywhere, and from somewhere way in the background a howl of unearthly torment and anguish. Bones were cracked fiercely and with a savage enjoyment –
He snapped awake, eyes roaming the bedroom in panic as he shuddered from the horrible adrenaline coursing through what felt like literally every pore and sweat gland in his body. “Just a dream, it was a just a dream….dinosaurs aren’t real, they don’t exist anymore….It wasn’t real.”
But he knew the events were; even if the dismal scene he’d just watched wasn’t. She was gone. The clock read 2:27 a.m. Way too late for a hike. And far too cold, anyway. He curled into a little ball on the carpet, leaning against the bed, and sobbed far past the time when the tears were finished."