This isn't very good, and I'm not sure whether it's supposed to be a song or a poem, but anyway, I wrote it during the 2011 World Series, which the St. Louis Cardinals won over the Texas Rangers in six games. This phrase just came to me while enduring an inning somewhere in the middle of one of the games, and the story, simple as it is, was there without much digging. I like it; it's a funny story. (FYI - I really don't much care for America's pastime in general; but I do follow the Cardinals semi-closely.)
"She played basketball and was in the band,
Cheer and volleyball, 'til she broke her hand
Or was that track, or maybe softball?
I can't remember, something where the crowds are pretty small.
We met one day in college,
We both fell pretty hard
Our relationship went deeper, I went down on one knee
But the answer that she gave was quite surprising...
She said, "I'll cook, I'll clean,
I'll do my best to do it all,
I'll marry you if you're serious, just have one stipulation -
If you really love me, don't ask me to watch baseball."
I laughed at first, or said something witty which fell flat,
We stayed in that coffee shop until they told us to scat
Walking her home I gave my reply:
I said, "We'll learn, we'll try,
We'll do our best, sometimes we'll fall.
I wouldn't ask if I wasn't serious, there's just one string attached -
If you really love me, don't ask me to watch baseball."
That was two years ago, our furniture's come from garage sales
We kept my bookshelves, and she had her Grandma's quilts
So complain all you want about your team's batting average
Their ERA and other ills
And keep those big green diamonds; our interests lie in other fields.
We try to be hospitable, to all but Yankees fans
Stay with us any time, you've just got to read the sign in the den:
It says, "We'll cook, we'll clean,
We'll do our best to do it all.
We're glad to have you stay here, summer, spring or fall
If you're under our roof, just remember, y'all:
If you really love us, don't ask us to watch baseball."
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