Kick, Pass and Run

 Most people have probably never heard of "Kick, Pass and Run", by Leonard Kessler.

It's a picture book that my grandma used to read to me(over, and over, and over...grandmas are good at things like that.) I've always loved it, and since I was bored, I rewrote and expanded it(original portions are in brackets).

            [Rabbit was the first one to hear it.] He usually was, having large ears and curiosity.

[Duck was the first one to see it], as she also possessed curiosity, especially in gossip around the woods. So when this thing flew into the leaves and twigs, she knew about it, and pretty soon everyone else did, too.

[Cat was the first one to feel it.]  He jumped back, startled. He’d never felt anything like that before. It was smooth, but had little bumpy places all over it, and it moved when it was touched. Not a lot, just kind of a rocking motion.

[“What is it?” asked Dog], voicing the question many animals felt when they saw it. “Um...I don’t know.” Cat said warily, licking the unfamiliar smell off his paw. “I don’t know what it is, but I’ve never seen anything like it before!” Duck stated positively.

            Most of the animals in the woods had fled by this time.

“Why don’t we ask Owl?” Frog suggested.

            As Owl was generally considered the most book-smart of the animals, this idea met with approval and Owl was quickly summoned. “What is that?” [Owl said, “It’s an egg!”]

            A rush of twittering came from the animals still assembled. [“An egg?” asked Frog] dubiously. [“Yes, it is a elephant’s egg.” said Owl] more firmly this time.

            Arguing broke out as to what color elephant eggs were, or whether they even laid eggs or not. [“No, an elephant’s egg isn’t brown.” said Turtle] “It isn’t?” Owl asked, momentarily confused. “Well, then [it’s a brown bear’s egg!”

More arguing, over whether bears laid eggs. Duck walked closer to get a better look. [“Bears don’t lay eggs.”] she said, then [she laughed. “I know an egg when I see one, and THAT is NOT an egg!”]

Before anyone could ask what it was, Cat spoke up. [“Shh!”] he whispered. [“Someone is coming!” They all hid.] Behind a bush, the animals, who had shrunk to Cat, Rabbit, Dog, Owl, Duck, Frog, Turtle, and three little birds, saw a boy in funny clothes looking for something. His fur had numbers on it, and bars were coming out of his face. [“Here it is!” said the boy. “Here’s our football!” “It’s a football.” said Owl in a quiet, wise way.

[“What’s a football?” asked Frog.] Owl gave him a look, then with even more noble bearing, said simply, [“A football is a football.”]

  

Before this profound statement could be analyzed, there was a suggestion, for which Owl felt somewhat grateful. [“Let’s go and see what the boys do with it.” said Dog].

            This was looked on as a good idea, and so they went up the hill towards town, near a clearing with skunk grass, then [they all hid].

              “Shh, be quiet,” cautioned Owl. “Let’s see how the boys play football.”

             There were two teams on the field, each made of boys dressed sort of like the boy in the woods. [One team was the Jets. The other team was the Giants.

            “I am for the Jets.”] Duck announced. “Well, [I am for the Giants], then.” Rabbit replied. [“I am for QUIET!!”] Owl hissed.

            “Here comes the kickoff.” yelled the Giants’ kicker. The football went up into the air and into the hands of the Jets’ fullback, who ran up the field. [“Stop him! Tackle him!” yelled the Giants.

            “Wow, that looks like fun.’ Duck said. She tackled Rabbit. “Stop that.” said Cat.] “You’ll miss a play.”

            “Ready, set, down….hup 1, hup 2, hup 3, hike!” The center gave the ball to the quarterback. He flipped it to the halfback, who gained five yards before the Giants tackled him. [“Go team, go!” quacked Duck.] The quarterback dropped back, looking for a receiver. “Look out for a pass!” the Giants yelled. “Look out for a pass!” yelled Frog. The ball spiraled through the air, where a Jet caught it and ran all the way into the end zone. “It’s a touchdown! Yay! Six points for us!”  the excited Jets hollered.

            “It’s a touchdown.” Turtle said in a happily amazed voice. “Wow, he made a touchdown.” Duck commented. [“What’s a touchdown?’ asked Frog.] Dog opened his mouth to say something, but Owl interrupted. “A touchdown is six points.” he said wisely. “Anybody else want to try that?” Dog wondered. Yesses followed. “Let’s play football!” Cat smiled. “Yeah, I wanna make a touchdown.’ said Duck. So, they ran back into the woods.

            [“Here’s a good spot to play.” said Turtle. “Let’s choose teams.” said Owl. “Dog, Cat, Rabbit, Turtle and Frog will be the Giants, and my team will be the Jets: Duck, the three little birds, and I!”]

            “That Owl is such a big boss.” Turtle muttered under his breath. [“Oh, forget it.”] Dog replied. [“Let’s play football.” “But we need a football.”], Frog pointed out.

This puzzled the animals for a minute, then Owl spoke up.

“How about an apple?” [“No, thanks.” said Frog. “I’m not hungry.” “How about an apple for a football?”] Owl clarified his question. [“An apple will be fine.” said Duck.] “Let’s get this game started, then. Kickoff!” Owl announced as the apple flew in the air. Rabbit caught it and ran towards the end zone, only to be tackled by Duck.

 The Giants went into a huddle. “Frog will carry the ball around the left end.” Dog said softly.

The Giants came out of the huddle. “1st and 10…ready, down, hike!” He got the apple and gave it to Cat, who gave it to Rabbit, who handed it off to Frog. All the Jets jumped on Frog.

            “Who has the apple?” asked Owl. “Not me.” said Rabbit. “Me neither.” Cat agreed. “Nope.” said Dog.  “No, not me.” Turtle said in his quiet way. They all looked at Frog.

            “I guess I was a little hungry.” he admitted.

            “You ATE THE FOOTBALL??!!” Duck squawked. “Now we need a new one!”

            “How about this paper bag?” Owl suggested.

            “We could blow it up, then it would make a good football. “ Dog said practically.

            (puff, puff, puff) Owl blew up the bag.

[“Some football.” said Duck  “OK, it’s our turn to get the ball.” Owl said. “Ready, set, down…”] “Hop, hop, hike!” quacked Duck. “Hup, not hop.” Owl corrected. “Up?” asked Duck.

[She took the ball and flew up into the air. “”Hey, that’s not fair!” yelled Rabbit. “You can’t fly! Only the ball can go into the air.” “Yes, I can, you stupid rabbit.”] she countered. “No, you can’t, you silly duck.” he shot back. “Oh, joy.” Dog muttered. “Another fight.” Frog pronounced gloomily. Owl tried to calm them down. “Stop it! Stop it! That is NOT the way to play football.” 

             “It isn’t, Mr. Genius? Fine. Then I won’t play.”

Duck walked off. “Oh, let her go.” sighed Turtle. “But we need her.” Dog objected. “The teams won’t be even if she doesn’t play.”

            Owl was appointed to go persuade her to come back and keep playing, as he was the one who made her quit. “Come back and play, please? We need you.” He almost sounded humble. “Really.” She thought a minute. “Okay.” She picked up the paper bag football.

            “Time for a big kickoff!” she hollered. “STOP! YOU CAN”T KICK A PAPER BAG!!!” shouted Owl in alarm. POP. But it was too late. “No more football.” Dog unhappily stated the obvious. “That’s the end of the game, looks like.” Turtle agreed. Just then, something happened. Rabbit was the first one to hear it. Duck was the first one to see it. And Cat was the first one….to CATCH it! “Hey, look! It’s a REAL FOOTBALL!” he shouted. And before any of the Jets could react, he ran down the clearing. “Tackle him!” yelled Owl futilely. “Stop him!” Duck quacked in vain. They couldn’t catch him. He ran, and ran, and ran, all the way past the end zone tree marker. “Touchdown!” “Touchdown!!” “Six points for us!” the Giants cheered. Rabbit was so happy, he jumped up and down. The celebration ended quickly, however, as Frog spotted something.

             “Look out, somebody’s coming!” Cat dropped the football, and they all hid. “Oh.” said the boy. “Here it is. I wonder how it got all the way back here?”