This was written in response to a Facebook chain status that had been passed around; those mentioned were friends who'd played along.
"The Okmulgee County Sheriff's Department has issued a warning for all the surrounding area to keep an eye out for a gang of voracious raptors that have been killing teens, and then consuming them, over the past week.
"They started on Thursday with Julie and Evan Boland, much to the grief of their mother, Shellley Boland, and family, friends and teachers. 'It's a terrible thing that they got eaten!" their drama teacher Kirsten Jackson stated, while adding, 'Of all the victims possible, I really wish they would have picked two other people.'
"The hungry dinosaurs then traveled west a few miles, where they devoured Breann Pickard, whose demise is very troubling to her sisters. 'I'll miss Bree, and I'll miss the way whenever she'd spotted a snake she would just walk up and trample it to death,' her older sister Kaitlyn commented.
"Over the night the raptors found two more people to munch on, Jessica Best and Brenna Hollis. When asked for his opinion, Alton Hollis is reported to have replied with agitation, 'What do I think? I think it's horrible to lose your sister and your girlfriend in the same day! It's just horrible!'
"Kyle Collins, who knew all the unfortunate victims, was slightly shocked, and stated that 'it was a really bad thing. I'll miss them all a whole lot.' Memorial services are being planned by the families of the deceased.
'The OCSO has issued the following checklist for proper identification of a velociraptor in the vicinity: 'They are short dinosaurs that have not been seen in a very long time, that have big sharp teeth, small arms and long claws. Carnivores, they live in packs and range all over North America, and packs living near Ontario, Canada have an inclination towards playing basketball. If you see one of these vicious creatures, SHOOT IT IMMEDIATELY! We thank you.'"
