Thursday, June 15, 2017

Ranking Pixar Movies 18-1 (For Now)

     It's a bit of a slow news day. So here's a ranking of Pixar movies, because it's been too long since I've done that.

18 - The Good Dinosaur
Release Date: November 25, 2015
     I haven't seen The Good Dinosaur yet, which is why it is currently in last place, but I love the premise: What if the asteroid that killed all the dinosaurs had missed Earth? The story follows an apatosaurus named Aldo and his pet boy Spot. And Sam Elliott plays a T. rex.

17 - Cars 3
Release Date: June 16, 2017
     I haven't seen Cars 3 yet, but I'm imagining it will leap into the midpack at least. Lightning McQueen is now the tired veteran trying to rejuvenate his career after a wreck.

"Y'know, if you could just get over the gag reflex..."
16 - Ratatouille
Release Date: June 29, 2007
     Rats aren't interesting main characters. Elite French cuisine is an uninteresting setting. And when you try to weave in a mystery about illegitimacy...eek.

15 - Finding Dory
Release Date: June 17, 2016
     This didn't need to be made. Dory tracks down her parents at an aquarium in California.

14 - Brave
Release Date: June 22, 2012
     The storyline is the worst of all these, because it follows an extremely cliched pathway. But the animation is beautiful, as is the soundtrack, loaded with Celtic music, so those save it from appearing too far in the back. A headstrong princess named Merida seeks to disenchant her mother from a curse that made her into a bear.

13 - Finding Nemo
Release Date: May 30, 2003
     An overprotective clownfish father named Marlin, with the help of an extremely forgetful friend named Dory, tracks down his lost son Nemo, who has been captured. Aimed much more for parents than kids, which is why it's always astounded me that it has the following it has.

"...Oh, that's puce."
12 - Monsters, Inc.
Release Date: November 2, 2001
     Highly quotable, and the idea of a parallel world peopled by monsters is amazing, but ranks this low rbecause of the frenetic pacing - the entire movie takes place in about 36 hours, which is far too rushed for the scale of events that happen. Bonus points for casting John Goodman as Sulley and Billy Crystal as Mike.

11 - Cars 2
Release Date: June 24, 2011
     This is a spy adventure starring Mater the Southern tow truck. It's fun, but that's about it.

10 - Monsters University
Release Date: June 21, 2013
     A prequel showing how Mike and Sulley met their freshman year of college, they captured the feel of campus life extremely well. So I'm not sure why I have it ranked so low. Probably because I dislike the Greek system and hated college.

9 - Toy Story 2
Release Date: November 24, 1999
     Woody gets kidnapped by a collector, so Buzz, Slinky, Mr. Potato Head, Hamm and Rex go save him, which leads to a ridiculous chase sequence at the end. My 6-year-old self was vaguely offended they would make a sequel, though it looks better now that the trilogy has been completed.

8 - The Incredibles
Release Date: November 5, 2004
     As a superhero movie, this is really good. As a family drama, it's also very good. As a Pixar movie, though? Not that great....aimed more directly at adults than children, which has always felt kind of out of place, given their usual target parameters of "everybody in the audience."

"Something AMAZING, I guess!"
7 - WALL-E
Release Date: June 27, 2008
     This movie is mostly silent, yet it is amazing. It's new territory in far-flung-future sci-fi, which was an interesting way to challenge themselves. While falling in love, a janitorial robot stranded on a future Earth brings about a recolonization of the planet for humans.

6 - Up
Release Date: May 29, 2009
     Grieving widower Charles Muntz and a lonely Scout named Russell go on an adventure to South America, where they adopt a noisy dog named Doug and save an endangered bird from Charles's boyhood hero. It's an extremely emotional movie, definitely not for the faint of heart. All of these from this point on are that way, really.

5 - Inside Out
Release Date: June 19, 2015
     As a hockey-loving teenage girl named Riley tries to cope with moving from southeast Minnesota to San Francisco, her emotions attempt to work together. Bonus points for casting Amy Poehler as Joy.

4 - Cars
Release Date: June 9, 2006
     Arrogant racer Lightning McQueen is stranded in a charming desert town called Radiator Springs, where he gradually makes friends and falls in love with town attorney Sally.

3 - A Bug's Life
Release Date: November 25, 1998
     An eccentric outcast inventor ant named Flik manages to save his colony, with the help of a circus troupe out of options, from their tyrannical grasshopper overlords.

2 - Toy Story
Release Date: November 22, 1995
     Woody and Buzz Lightyear vie for control of the leadership role of Andy's toys, but soon have to work together if they want to escape from the neighbor's house. Extra points for Tom Hanks as Woody and Tim Allen as Buzz.

1 - Toy Story 3
Release Date: June 18, 2010
     Andy's going away to college, and so the toys who are left have to make a new life for themselves. I'm bawling by the end every time.

Tuesday, April 18, 2017

Ping Pong Diplomacy

     The Bulldogs beat the Tahlequah Tigers Friday night, or at least the boys’ team did, but Tom didn’t go. He thought about going to the games, but it didn’t seem worth the trouble, because he’d run into Natalie, and he didn’t want to deal with her accusing stares. That was the trouble with his next-door neighbor being on the cheerleading squad, he thought – even at basketball games he couldn’t escape. And since his friend Trevor had moved away from Skiatook to somewhere around Chicago about a year ago, there weren’t that many people to be around. Tom had trouble making himself talk to new people. The thing was, though, that Natalie was right – he just didn’t want to admit that.
      She was mad at him for making fun of Svetlana’s reading – she had been adopted by the Maguires about the same time Trevor moved. She was from what had been the Soviet Union - it was now some new country spelled with an unpronounceable jumble of letters, and the encyclopedias in the school library hadn’t been updated with all these new countries yet. And was it his fault that he had always excelled at retaining written information? His mother said that that didn’t give him reason to make anybody feel inferior because they didn’t grasp concepts quite as quickly. That was pretty much what Natalie had said, too.
      So Tom sat on the couch with his younger siblings and watched the latest episode of Boy Meets World, which he found ridiculous and irritating – Corey Matthews was simply too boring to be interesting. But Jenny was obsessed with the show, alternatively attempting to recreate Topanga’s choices in hairstyles and clothing or gushing without end about Corey’s friend Shawn. And Lenny did whatever Jenny told him to, so he always watched the show, but only because his twin did. So the phone ringing gave Tom a welcome excuse to vault off the couch and into the kitchen to answer it.    
      “Curtis residence, Tom speaking. Who is this?”
     “It’s Nat.”
     “Hey. Couldn’t you just walk over if you had to talk?”
     “This feels too important,” she sighed. “Can you meet up tomorrow?”
     “I think so. What time?”
     “How about eleven, by the mailboxes.”
     The Curtises and Phillipses had lived on the same red river-gravel road for as long as either Tom or Natalie could remember, and the cluster of mailboxes near the highway turn-off was the bus stop, and thus  generally the neighborhood gathering place.  
     “All right.”
     “Didn’t see you in the stands tonight,” her tone sounded disappointed.
     “No, I didn’t go.”
     “Pete could’ve let you ride with us, you know.” Pete was the oldest Phillips sibling living at home, two were in Norman studying at OU, and Natalie fell the fifth out of six in terms of birth order.
     “Yeah, I know… I just….thought it would be good to spend some time with the twins.”
     He knew from experience that she would have one eyebrow raised and a hand on her hip right about then, playing with the phone cord.
     “Tom, you NEVER spend time with the twins if you can help it.”
     “So? I wanted to tonight. What’s so wrong with that?” Tom snapped out. His tone was much harsher than he meant it to be. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
     The cli-thunk of the phone slamming down on the receiver cut another another of her sighs.

     The wind was whipping along pretty well, even though the sun was shining, so Natalie and another girl, one with black hair, were wrapped up in coats. Nat was shivering, but the other girl - Svetlana Maguire - looked at ease.
     “Heeeyyy,” Tom greeted them warily.
     “Hello,” Svetlana greeted him back.
     “Hey. Since you’re here, you might as well come over to my place for ping pong,” Nat stated. Pete was by far the best of their family, but the Phillips garage could get noisy whenever there was a match in progress, they were all so competitive.
     The wind whistled by, obscuring the girls’ faces.
     “All right. I guess so,”  he agreed reluctantly.
     “Ah...what is….ping pong?” Svetlana asked.
     “It’s, uh - Shit, what is it called….?” Tom tried to answer.
     “Table tennis!” Nat smiled at the Russian girl. Her face lit up in response.
     “Oh! Table tennis! I know this, how to play.”

     She could, too. As had been Natalie’s plan, showcasing this skill cast Svetlana several rungs higher in Tom’s respect, as since he was a guy, athletic prowess in anything, even something as dorky as ping pong, equalled greater respect. That was part of the reason Nat became a cheerleader in the first place, though she would never admit that to anyone, and barely to herself. At some point through the day Tom apologized for his behavior, and Svetlana graciously accepted the apology.
     Pete drove the three of them and Natalie’s youngest sister Amanda into Tulsa to go see the Michael Jordan movie, since Svetlana needed to be indoctrinated into American pop culture more fully, and she had some knowledge of the Looney Tunes already.,full of sarcastic one-liners.
     “I bet I’m gonna show that to my kids someday,” Pete declared afterwards. 
     "That'd be, like....two thousand and fourteen. Will the world even exist by then?" Amanda asked.

Wednesday, April 5, 2017

Two People Fell in Love

     If it wasn’t for the pestering of my roommate Eli’s crazy girlfriend Marti, we never would have gotten together. Marti can be obnoxiously persistent when she wants to. All of us were studying at OSU-Okmulgee at the time.
    This is Lee Ann. I’ll try not to interrupt, but when I heard this idea I wasn’t a fan. “Marti! I grew up in Muskogee. In a trailer park. You said he’s a photographer. Like Peter Parker - I don’t think this is a good idea!” “It’s a great idea. Opposites attract, y’know.” Decisive head-shake from me and a dubious snort. “Just once, to meet him?” Marti pleaded. “Fine…
      “She’s – different but you’ll like her, Mike. And it’s just a date, not like I’m askin’ you to marry her or anything. Please? Pleasepleasepleaseplease?” That finally wore my defenses out eventually, and so I unenthusiastically agreed to go on a blind double date with her and Eli. And so that’s where I first met Lee Ann, in a Braum’s one Friday night.
      The usual amount of older people were there, and a couple of teams from the local YMCA kids soccer league were having their fall-season-wrapup parties at the restaurant, with parents and siblings in tow, so the place was really crowded and noisy. She had darkish hair and her fingernails were painted teal. I noticed that because I’d never seen any girl use that color nail polish before, and because it looked good, like the uniforms of the Charlotte Hornets, San Jose Sharks and Arizona Diamondbacks. Honestly, a dude would compare to sports… She was wearing a black leather jacket, jeans and – I noticed this since it was practical – running shoes. I was hoping she didn’t notice that I’d buttoned my shirt crooked due to nervousness. Yeah, I did notice that. I also thought you were strange. But in an interesting way. She says she was wondering if she was too standoffish. We talked about surface-level things of the likes-and-dislikes variety, somehow the topic of country music came up, which we both enjoyed. We got into a long argument over Taylor Swift; I said she was terrible, Lee Ann liked her.
      I didn’t call her, even though I wanted to. I even picked up the phone a couple times with that intention, but I couldn’t ever quite finish dialing her number. Me? Why would I have cared? I was half afraid he would call. But I was also somewhat disappointed and pissed off that he didn’t.
# # #
      This inability to communicate continued until we ran into each other one afternoon in a shopping center parking lot in Tulsa about two months later. It was a chilly day, and the wind kept slamming her largeish Hobby Lobby bag into her hip.
      “Good day of shopping?” I asked, pointing at the sack.
      “Huh?” she asked, startled. “Oh, yeah. Found some cool scrapbooking stuff on sale.”
      “Cool. You scrapbook?”
      She nodded. “I like to, when I have time. What’re you here for?”
      I pointed my thumb at Guitar Center. “I need to get some cables for my amplifier, browsing around for some other stuff, kind of to get an idea of prices.”
      Her brown eyes sparkled. ”You play?!”
      “Yeah. Learned in middle school. Why?”
      She looked down at her Asics and coughed, self-conscious. “Would you….be willing to teach me? I have an acoustic with one of those funny little plug-things-“
      “Okay, so it’s possible to hook it up to an amp. Acoustic-electric.”
      “- but I don’t know what kind it is. It’s bright orange, if that helps-“
      “Not really,” I smiled a little.
      “-but I don’t really know how to play. The strings are kinda tarnished and grimy, so…”
      “That’s not hard to fix. And sure, I guess I could try.”
       “Do you sing?”
       “Not when people can hear me.”
       “If you’re going to Guitar Center anyway,” she bit her lip. “do y’mind if I tag along? Could use some advice on what stuff to get.”
       “Sure, why not?”
       “Thanks.”
       “No problem.” I held open the door to the store, she walked in. “When do you want to start?”
# # #
      “Ever wonder what the history a guitar’s seen in its previous life?”
       Lee Ann was scowling at her aching left hand, trying to shake the muscles loose, so she wasn’t really paying attention to this comment. “Mm…not really, no. What’d you mean?”
       “I dunno. Like, what happened to yours before it wound up with it?”
       She thought a moment. “I know I’m new at this, but you said guitars usually have names, right?”
       “Most of the time.” 
       “When I bought it, I heard that it-” she gestured at her Ibanez, “was called Steve. So that would mean it belonged to a girl?”
      “Probably. Not sure why, really, but that’s usually the way it goes, the guitar becomes the opposite gender.”
     “And yours is Sophie.”
      I nodded, patting the black Takamine. “Ready to get started again?”
     She shrugged halfheartedly and we began practicing again.
     “Okay, “Never Alone” by Sara Evans is pretty easy. So the chord progression on this one is D-A-Bm-G,” I said. “So to make a D, that’s your first finger on the third string, second fret, second finger first string third fret, third finger second string second fret.”
     “Tell me this gets easier…” she muttered. “And don’t strum the top two?”
# # #
     “Come On Over Tonight to a Brad Paisley concert?” I texted her around New Years.
     I remember it particularly because it was the start of a new decade, too – 2010. And I couldn’t resist the pun of including the title of one of Brad’s earlier songs in there. And she recognized the reference for what it was – a declaration that I cared about her and an invitation to go steady.    
     “She said Yes!” Lee Ann replied after what felt like forever. I wasn’t sure whether she was referring to the Rhett Akins song with that title, or the one-hit wonder “Yes!” (complete with maybe-unnecessary exclamation point) from Chad Brock. Either way, it was good news.
     So that was our first outing as an official couple. The concert was part of the American Saturday Night Tour, at the arena in Oklahoma City where the Thunder play, it was called the Ford Center then. Justin Moore and Miranda Lambert were the opening acts, and they’re both great, too. He’s from Arkansas, and she’s counted as an adopted Oklahoman, since she was married to Blake Shelton. And although a couple songs Brad forget the lyrics to, it was a fantastic show.
# # #
      Eli knocked on the door late one Saturday morning. “Hey, dude? You in there?”
      I shut up quick then, and the sounds of Sophie’s strings stopped abruptly while I opened the door.
      “Whatcha playin’?” Eli’s arms were full of grocery sacks after a run to Wal-Mart. He knew the answer was “More Than a Memory,” but figured it would be better to keep his mouth shut. 
      “Garth. And Keith Urban,” I growled. I didn’t want to talk to anyone, about anything. And so I wasn’t trying not to mope.
     “Don’t let me stop ya.”                            
     Eli began restocking the kitchen cabinets with chili, paper towels and cereal. Pretty soon from the living room he could hear the anguish within “Stupid Boy,” a reproach-filled exercise in self-flagellation. He hummed “Even If It Breaks Your Heart” to himself, spinning around from the open refrigerator to poke his head into the living room. I shushed Sophie and glared at him.    
     “Hey. Whatever happened – just apologize. Love her like she’s leavin’. Don’t mess this up; she’s a keeper. Y’all can meet in the middle somehow.”
     “You do know many song titles you used just then, don’t you?”
     “Uh….more than I meant to? I was thinking Diamond Rio…”
     I flipped him off, and he went back to whatever he was doing.

  “C’mon. You can get through this,” Marti consoled. We were in Marti’s living room, sitting on the uncomfortable faded-blue hand-me-down couch she salvaged from somebody’s driveway, and a pile of feel-good DVDs were on the coffee table, along with several cans of Bud Light and a mostly-empty pizza box. Sleepless in Seattle was playing on the TV.
  “Ooh, maybe I could slash his tires!” I tried to cheer myself up.
  “Nope, you don’t wanna do that.” Marti had previous experience with that form of revenge. It didn’t lead to good things.
  “Yes I don’t,” I huffed in frustration. “How ‘bout…I dunno… go sit in the football field stands at the high school an’ drink a beer?”
  “You think that’d help?”
  “I dunno. But that’s how I process shit. Think about it endlessly. Eventually it makes sense.”
  “Sure, let’s try it,” Marti shrugged.
# # #
     We got back together eventually. Having the other’s presence around to deal with the trials that come up made life a lot easier. And we had our share of disagreements and fights, but gradually got to understand the histories and baggage behind most things the other said and did. She grew up in a trailer park in Muskogee, while I bounced around southern Missouri and eastern Oklahoma. She enjoyed reading Billie Letts novels, and I followed halfheartedly along on the trips to the library. We were squeaking by; she was working at Wal-Mart and I had a shake photography business going.
     One day Marti send me a heads-up text that Lee Ann was leaving for her thinking-place, so Eli and I raced over to Eagle Stadium. It being August by now, the boys of fall were almost ready to shine, and at the moment Morris High was having a scrimmage, maybe against Haskell, I don’t remember. Anyway, other people were there watching, but the atmosphere was pretty relaxed. Eli was born and raised in Morris, so he knew everyone, including the people running the press box. So that part of our plan was easy. I spotted where Lee Ann was sitting in the splintery orange-painted bleachers, tucked away into the bottom-left corner, on the third row. Not many people were nearby, except a second-grader down at the railing in her cheerleader uniform, watching her big brother play.
     “Mind if I sit here?” She shrugged.
     I sat down and called Eli. He was inside the press box, and the CD player was all set up. Somebody started it, and Josh Turner flooded the loudspeakers. There were amused chucklings of approval throughout the stands, first in surprise at the unexpectedness, then as they watched what unfolded. Lee Ann’s foot tapped along automatically to the bluegrassy mandolin-led tune; by this time she’d taught herself how to play the banjo. Then which Josh Turner song it was registered – “Would You Go With Me?” – or maybe that was my being on one knee with a ring I’d improvised out of an old guitar string (because poor college students have to MacGyver things most of the time). .

     She laughed in disbelief, managing to nod her assent, while everyone else in the stands snapped pictures and whooped their congratulations. I think it was a front-page story in the local newspaper that week. Everybody dies famous in a small town, right? Anyway, that’s my story, and I’m stickin’ to it. 

Thursday, March 9, 2017

Go, Go Gadget

     This flashfiction story was adapted from a flashfic play we were assigned in Pop Market, where we then all cold-read our scripts. Dr. Dial-Driver's reaction - "Okay, a tragedy, that's fine.But - Damn! Why'd you have to kill the dog??!!"  I also played a 91-year-old grandmother with dementia that day. It was a super depressing start to the morning, when all of us seniors were already depressed because it was Thursday, which meant another dose of the soul-draining Capstone course. And usually we like Pop Market.

     "Not the smartest dog in the world," Ted said, looking skeptically at the puppy his wife of five weeks was holding. "But not all of them need to be."
     "I think he's adorable!" Melanie declared. "We can't let him..." her voice trailed off into the breeze, knowing that the owner would send the unwanted puppies to the local pound if they went unclaimed by Wednesday.

     "And so that's how we ended up with Gadget. Since then he's torn up shoes, shredded the couch, and angered our landlord by peeing on her purse," Ted mused aloud, remembering the day they'd taken him home, and all the chaos in the years since
     "Yes, he had done all that, and more. But there's also been the comfort he gave when your dad died, Or how he keeps me company while I'm grading papers. But now...here we are -" Melanie's voice choked up.

     "Do we have to go in?" Ted's question was barely audible.
     "Nnnyee-sss," Melanie groaned.
     "Damn."
     "We'll be okay," she comforted, not believing it in the least.
     "I know." Long pause. "I just don't believe you right now."
     "Me neither."
     But they got out of the car and removed Gadget's crate from the backseat, slowly walking into the building.
     "Welcome to Wilson Veterinary Clinic. How may I help you?" The receptionist's name tag said her name was Mia.
     Ted and Melanie looked at each other for guidance.
     "It's...we....the poor guy -" she gestured at Gadget's crate.
     "He's....almost -"
     "All right," Mia's tone was soothing but disinterested. "Dr. Cassidy will be in in a few minutes. Take as much time as you need."
     The couple sat themselves uncertainly in two of the waiting room chairs, glancing around at the other patients. Mia turned back to the computer screen and began typing again. When it's time for an animal, especially a pet, to be put down it's always so hard. I may pretend I don't care, or the owners must see it that way, but I wouldn't be able to function working here if I could let myself be too empathetic.
     Dr. Cassidy poked his head into the doorway. "Ted? Melanie?"
     "(That's us, yeah,)" they mumbled indistinctly, moving towards the doorway.
     "This is Gadget, huh?" the vet addressed the occupant of the crate. Mute nods from the people. "You've had a long and distinguished career, Inspector," Dr. Cassidy bit his lip, hesitating. "If y'all want -"
     "Thanks - but - we'll stay here," Melanie managed to answer the vet's question. She knelt down to get eye-level with the crate, her forehead resting against the bars. They felt stable, but everything was swimming and blurry. "Thank you, buddy. We'll miss you - so, so much."

     "Go - go - goodbye, Gadget," Ted choked. Melanie put a hand on his arm, and together they turned away from the freshly-dug grave.

Thursday, February 23, 2017

Historical Fiction Flashfic

     This was a historical fiction flashfic in-class assignment for Dr. Dial-Driver's Pop Market. The first historical quote that leapt to mind to indicate setting was Reagan's "Mr. Gorbachev, TEAR DOWN THIS WALL!" speech from June 12, 1987.

     "Mr Gorbachev, TEAR DOWN THIS WALL!"
     I was nine, and so I didn't understand what President Reagan meant. I just knew I liked his movies. (And yes, I knew how weird that made me.) But Dad liked him, and so I figured that maybe he could explain.
     He tried to.
     "The Russians - y'know, from WarGames, they - well, this is in East Germany, and they're similar to the Soviets. Dangerous. Anyway, people over there are tryin' to escape - there's a MacGyver episode about it, remember?"
     I nodded. Sort of.
    "Okay, well, what Reagan is tryin' to do is get the Soviet prime minister - sort of their president - to do is let the East German people escape by tearing down the Berlin Wall."
     "He prob'ly wont, will he?"
     "I don't think so, but maybe. It could be like Rocky IV, where we decide that the other side is human, too."
     His tone was mystified and pessimistic, so I figured that that was enough politics and that it was time to do math homework. Mrs. Jackson was attempting to teach us fourth-graders division, and that was going about as well as comprehending metrical feet would in a poetry class I'd take in college.
     "Fourteen goes into ninety-two - no, that's not right... If you have ninety-two, and there's fourteen..." I muttered on my way up the screaky stairs, my Keds furthering the erosion of the woodstain in the middle of each step.

Thursday, February 9, 2017

Suspense Flashfic

     For Dr. Dial-Driver's Pop Market. This was an in-class timed flashfiction assignment, making a suspense story ending with the line, "Some days I almost forget about the scar. And some days I still feel like I'm being followed, but I always remember to [blank]." Brian suggested the closing phrase, and there were a lot of interesting spins put on the phrase.
     It's not a great flashfic, especially compared to Lauren's - suspense is her wheelhouse, and she delivered a great tale of an assassination attempt with an Agatha Christie twist. McKenzie had a great fight scene in a coffee shop MacGyvering kitchen implements into weapons. Brian had a psycho attack a guy in an empty movie theater, which was a great use of setting, and Deborah set her story in an aquarium, where a stalker was eaten by a shark. A guy named Shane had us all thinking that his narrator was kidnapped by a cult, until the twist ending revealed that the narrator was actually a sugar glider, and what we thought was a cult was just the normal world seen from a rodent's perspective. That provided some material to chew over.

     Things were tense. That's the best way of describing where we were in life at that moment. I was without a steady job, and my girlfriend Jamie's parents were divorcing.
     It started when the guys from one of the frats got drunk one Thursday night. I was walking back to my apartment when I heard some scuffling noises. I went to see what was up. Three guys, a girl - this wasn't good.
    "HEY! What the -?" This got their attention, as did the fact that my phone was up to my ear reporting the rape.
    The girl - she was a small redhead - slipped away into the night. The dudes chased after me. I evaded them as best I could, running more or less in a circle across back alleys and untraveled sidewalks until the cops showed up. They were locked up for about a month, then released, somebody rich was there to clean up "this minor mistake," as they called it.
     So they tailed me, waiting for an opportune time to strike back. This didn't help ease the tension between me and Jamie, either. She knew I wasn't telling her everything, but she didn't press. That wasn't her way.
     I was walking out the store to deliver a pepperoni when they jumped me, slashed up what felt like everywhere. Someway or another I got to the hospital - since they knocked me out those details were fuzzy - and I slowly healed, except for the large jagged scar on my right forearm. It was raw and red and every day multiple people commented on it, or pointedly didn't. Eventually it faded into a nasty-looking birthmark sort of thing, and once I had enough saved up I got a tattoo to cover it.
     But the paranoia continued, as did the pain.
     It was rough.
     And it took a while, but I'll finally graduate in a couple months, after missing all that time recovering and paying off medical bills. Some days I almost forget about the scar. And some days I still feel like I'm being followed, but I always remember to --
     "Brad? Are you okay?!" Jamie looked distraught.
     I looked around, groggy, from her couch, where I'd been taking a nap. And then I knew. Not sure how that works, but it wasn't a dream: It was a vision. This was all going to play out, someway.
     The final line of the voiceover haunts echoingly in my mind - "Some days I almost forget about the scar. And some days I still feel like I'm being followed, but I always remember to..."

Tuesday, February 7, 2017

Get the Job Done

     Dr. Dial-Driver's Creative Writing for the Popular Market is the final creative writing course left for those RSU English majors who made their minor Creative Writing. It's basically genre fiction, which is fun to explore. That two-thirds of the class are computer-science people is a pain (this class was originally called Writing Video Games), though it provides examples of what we're trying not to do.
     This flashfiction assignment was ghostwriting practice; we were given a random selection of six elements - plot, character, character relationship, setting, and scraps of dialogue and background info. Then we had to turn them into a two-page Western. I was definitely thinking of a Clint Eastwood/Firefly vibe while working on this.

     “Remember those days when we were together? Before you changed?”
     Jack McClain rode through the dusty town of Yatesville, the scalding sunlight roasting everything in sight. It didn’t improve his mood much. Replaying his wife Maggie’s forlorn questioning about their relationship wasn’t helping with the current task at hand, either. That task was to apprehend one Garth Boggs. Yatesville was a three-day ride from their homestead, but bounty hunting was a job. It was difficult to balance when there were problems at home to sort out. Glimpses of corruption of various types were seen in almost every building he passed as he pulled up at the saloon. As long as the drinks kept coming, his relationship with Henry the barkeep were fine. When they weren’t – things were strained, likely because of that time years ago when Jack had to pull Henry into the ranks of the freshly-incarcerated. It was about a year before he and Maggie were hitched – most men would reckon her as pulchritude if it weren’t for that scar ‘long her cheek. So he laid a claim, her drifting days were finished, and it had worked out pretty well. The dubious business dealings of the Yatesvillains wasn’t his problem; keeping a low body count of uninvolved persons was.
     “What the hell’s this?” Jack frowned at his beer after tasting it. ”Don’t look normal.”
     “New truck at a discount. Cain’t say properly th’ name, sold by some German fella out of St. Louis.” Henry slid his Remington revolver across the tabletop and whipped out the lopped-off Winchester underneath the bar. The cowhands in the corner – the only other souls in the establishment at the moment - quit their hand of poker and slunk under their chairs.
     Boggs had entered the saloon.
     Jack whipped around, slinging the mug of beer into Boggs’s face while scooping up the Remington. Blood dripped from a gash over Boggs’s forehead into one eye, and it mixed with the tears and beer droplets running down his face. None of that kept him from swinging the Bowie knife towards Jack’s throatal region.
     Henry emptied the Winchester into Boggs’s hip, and Jack had already pegged his right arm. He was beginning to unholster his Smith & Wesson, just in case, when Henry vaulted over the countertop and snapped Boggs’s left arm.
     “Damn - what’d ya do that for?”
     “You know how much those mugs cost to replace?” Henry snorted. “And it’ll cause you trouble, explainin’ the condition he was hauled up to Wichita in.”
Jack ignored this reply and hoisted Boggs’s unconscious form towards the livery stable where he’d kept the farm wagon, staggering and almost faltering under the weight. Once the cargo was deposited, he retraced his path back to the saloon.
     “You’ll need that, I reckon,” he said to Boggs, flipping the outlaw’s hat into the wagon bed. “No need t’ git overheated any more’n can be helped.”
     “Thank ye,” Boggs whispered.
     “Changed for the better, I hope, Maggie,” he muttered as the horse plodded along some time later, not realizing he was speaking aloud. “Or at least that’s a start, anyway, ain’t it?”

     “It’s a sight better than leavin’ me daid,” Boggs answered from the back. “Who’s Maggie?” 
     Jack ignored him. 

Tuesday, January 31, 2017

Lost In This Moment

     For Dr. Dial-Driver's Pop Market. This flashfiction assignment was a romance, and the structural commands were that it had to be exactly one page long. So I snuck around the double-space-everything-in-MLA-format rule by writing half of this story in poetry, because poetry can be single-spaced. Because it's me, I knew that the title would be influenced by country music somehow, so the title is borrowed from a Keith Anderson song that Big & Rich later covered. The cover is the better-known version of the tune.

While the swing goes on in the predestined way –
endlessly pacing, like all such furniture must journey –
the background  fills with our friends’ chatter,
someone’s klutzy dog makes quite a clatter,
and I’m one lucky dog with a brand-new fiancĂ©e. 

Clasped hands and hearts on that old porch swing; Desiree,  
is it this song that’s such an enchanter?
Don’t answer aloud – let your gaze say
while the swing goes on.

Years from now, this moment will stay
in my favorite memories, thinking of last Saturday,
and though in years ahead we’ll weather paint splatters
and deal with your mom – drat her -
but they’ll be counterbalanced by moments of play  
while the swing goes on.

      This was the rondeau that Mike wrote for his wife Desiree in their hotel room one night on their honeymoon. He had proposed to her while they were at a Fourth of July party hosted by friends; they were snuggled on the creaky porch swing in the Allans’ backyard, and it finally seemed like the right time to ask – they’d survived their first year of school, (they’d figure out the transfer details later) and there was family housing. Most people would say they were crazy, but if their grandparents had made it work so young, why couldn’t they? He set her guitar back into its case (he’d been using as a desk) and tucked the poem between the strings where she’d notice it first thing. Then shaking his head, wonderstruck that this was real life, he slipped under the covers. She grunted sleepily and loosened her grip on the comforter.